In your Eyes
by sydney563
Summary: A story of young love revolving around the best Peter Gabriel song ever.
1. Chapter 1

**N: This story revolves around the song in your eyes by Peter Gabriel. Now that the other kid bo story has moved onto a sequel, this is the one that some of you wanted me to write. A few of you didn't, but this is a different take on it. A different spin where you know the ending, and the story is being told. I'm not sure how it will work out, how long it will be. My time is limited and i've lost much of my gusto for writing lately... I'm also working on a update to cupid, but man the writer's block is strong on that one.**

 **This story will be mainly told in Bo's Pov...**

* * *

"Ugh, Mom. Why are you playing that silly song again?"

I chuckled, smiling at my teenage daughter as she dropped her backpack on the floor of the kitchen. "It's my favorite song, kiddo." I pointed at the backpack with my pen, "Iris, clean that up before you know who comes home, and gets sassy about stuff on the floor."

My daughter rolled her amber eyes, a trait I was certain she learned from her aunt. "Ugh! Fine." I watched Iris kick her overstuffed backpack into the mudroom. She came over to where I was working on a new file, huffing and dramatically flopping her head down on the kitchen island. "Physics sucks."

I patted her head, running my fingers through her sandy blonde hair. "It does. I hated it in high school." I bit the end of my pen, "I hated all math and science in school. That's why I went into marketing." I leaned over, starting my song over.

Iris, leaned on her hand, frowning. "Yeah, but I want to join the DEA. Be a super cool agent like Aunt T." She blew out a frustrated breath as Peter Gabriels soft vocals swam out of the speakers. "Mom, seriously. You've been playing this song non stop since Ma left."

I grinned, a small blush creeping up my cheeks. "I miss her, and this is our song." I paused, listening to a few lyrics, sighing lightly at the memories it brought up. "We'll get your Ma to help you with physics when she's back from Seattle. You know how much she wants you to follow in her footsteps."

Iris sat up, collecting her mop of hair into a ponytail. "Aunt T always tells me I shouldn't groan when I hear this song. She said there's a beautiful fuc…er…effing story behind it. How you met Ma."

I gave my sixteen year old daughter a motherly look, poking her side. "Watch your mouth. I know Aunt T has no filter when you are hanging out, but if your Ma hears you dropping f bombs." I tickled her side, making Iris laugh and hold up her hands in defeat.

"Okay, okay!" She giggled once more, sitting on the chair next to me. "So, you think I'm old enough to hear the beautiful story of how you met Ma? Or am I stuck with the wedding album and grandma's cheesy stories?"

I set my pen down, glancing at my daughter. Debating until I said screw it, "Fine. But two things. I was a weird kid who loved 80's music, and second, we never told you the truth because we didn't necessarily want you to follow our footsteps."

Iris cocked an eyebrow, "Were you a felon on the run when you met Ma? Cause I can't see anything about you two boring old ladies that would have me following in those footsteps." Iris smirked when I slapped her shoulder playfully. "Seriously, you guys are awesome parents and even after being married for seventeen years, I can see the love is still strong as over." She leaned over, flicking my elbow like she did when she was a little girl trying to get my attention. "Tell me, tell me, tell me."

I swatted her hand away, laughing. "Fine!" I took a deep breath. "I first met your Ma when I was eleven, and she was sixteen. And as weird as this might sound, I fell in love with her three weeks later, but it took us ten more years to finally get together."

Iris stared at me blankly, "Eleven? Sixteen? You wouldn't let me ride my bike to the end of the street alone at eleven. How…um." She shook her head, waving me on. "Go ahead, tell me this story. I'm mildly grossed out and intrigued."

I laughed, kissing the top of her head. "Thank you, kiddo."

I leaned back, "The year was 1992 and I was in middle school. Algebra was my worst enemy."

* * *

 **1992**

I was happily jamming out to my greatest hits from the 80's cd, trying so desperately to avoid doing my algebra homework. I was already failing and it was barely three weeks into the new year. Truth was, when numbers were mixed with letters, I was clueless. My parents were upset, and had sent me to the school library on a Saturday to meet with a tutor. Not only did they send me on a Saturday, but a Saturday morning. The one day of the week I loved because I could sleep in and watch cartoons with my best friend Tamsin. I walked slowly, humming along to Heaven is a place on Earth, thinking about getting pizza later with Tamsin and go over our sweet Halloween costume plans. I was going to be Mary McFly and Tams was going to be Doc Brown. We were both super excited to get started, even though Halloween was a month away.

I shoved the library doors open, and groaned. I seriously didn't want to do this today, or tomorrow, or the day after. I could fail math, it's not like I was going to be a doctor or a scientist. I wanted to be a zoologist and wash elephants and play with penguins. No math was needed for that, just expansive love for animals.

I smiled politely, waving to the nice old lady librarian and walked to the far back rooms where tutoring sessions were held. The middle school was huge and connected to the high school, but thankfully our library was off limits to the high schoolers. I could hide and not be noticed by the cool seniors who scared me. I was a shy kid, with one friend and I was dreading going to high school. My mom had already begun to tell me the horrors of puberty, hormones, dating, and boys. All things that left me mildly panicked about the next two years. My body was starting to change, and it was freaking me out. I had to go get a bra last weekend with my mom and grandma. The stupid thing made it hard to throw a football around with my dad, and it pinched my sides. Yeah, I was eleven about to be twelve, but my parents always said I acted older than my age. Something they were grateful for, since I showed no interest in boys. All I wanted to do was hang out with my friends, go to school, and get over the hump of being a tween.

I flopped down at the table and emptied out my backpack, I was very early and saw no sight of my tutor. Some girl my mom promised was smarter than the teachers and could get me through Algebra with an A. I rolled my eyes at her, not believing there was anyone in this world who could make me understand numbers and letters together. I tossed the algebra book to the side with my notebook and grabbed my Wonder Woman comic. I leaned forward on my elbows and dove into the comic, getting lost in the story and my sweet tunes.

I was drawn out of the Wonder Woman haze when a firm hand tapped me on the shoulder, I spun around startled. A taller blonde girl stood in front of me, a warm smile on her face. I vaguely recognized her as a sophomore in the high school. Her face plastered all over the science fair posters. I pushed one headphone off and stood up. The girl was taller than me, thin, and wore a grey t-shirt with the high school track team mascot on it. What was weird, was that I felt my heart wobble in my chest when I caught a whiff of her perfume. It was that fancy one I really liked at the department store. Mom wouldn't let me get it, claiming it was for fancy older ladies. I swallowed hard as I fixed my baggy sweater, my hands sweating for no reason at all.

The girl grinned. "Hi. I'm Lauren Lewis. You must be Bo McCorrigan?" She looked down at the notebook in her hands, her brow scrunching up as she read over a page. "And you're struggling with Algebra one?" She looked up at me, her smile still warm.

I nodded like a broken bobble head, pointing at my algebra book. "Yeah. But I'm actually failing, not struggling. Probably why my parents hired you to help me." I yanked my other headphone off and hit pause on my discman.

Lauren shook her head and sat down, motioning for me to sit with her. "I volunteered to help. I usually volunteer every year to help as many under classmen as I can. I know what's it like to struggle with subjects, and I like to teach people." She pointed at my notebook. "Do you mind if I take a look at your notes?"

I swallowed hard, staring at Lauren's brown eyes and how they looked like the chunk of rock in the trailer for Jurassic Park. But her eyes didn't have a bug in it, they were pretty. I shook my head, reaching for my notebook. I was getting hot, maybe it was because the old librarian kept the dang place at tropical temperatures. I handed Lauren the notebook. "I can't get past the basics. It makes no sense to me."

Lauren patted my shoulder, "It's okay, Bo. I'll get it to make sense to you." She scanned over my notebook, her brow crinkling as she tried to decipher my bubbly handwriting. "Here. I think I see the problem. You're getting confused with the values of A, B and X." Lauren leaned over, pointing out my scribblings. "Let's go over the values of each and how they correlate with everything else."

And that's what we did for the next hour. Lauren broke down the values and explained them in a way that it finally clicked, well somewhat clicked, in my head. Soon she had me working on the simple problems and I was actually getting correct answers. What wasn't clicking was why I kept staring at Lauren here and there, and why my palms would sweat when she would smile at me and laugh.

Lauren glanced at her black digital watch. "We have five minutes left, Bo. Let's stop here and pick up next week." She collected her notes, neatly placing them in her own backpack. She paused when I picked up my Wonder Woman comic. "Is that the latest issue?"

I shrugged awkwardly. What the heck was happening to me, I never got nervous or awkward. "Um, yeah. I got it last night with my dad." I pointed at the cover. "It's a continuation of the operation cheetah storyline. It's pretty good."

"I loved that storyline, but my favorite is where she takes on Deathstroke." Lauren reached into her bag, pulling out the comic.

I stared at her, "You read comics? But you're in high school, on the track team." I was in mild awe, and picked up the comic. "I missed getting this one. I been trying to find it. Only my best friend knows about my comics. Middle school is hard, everyone is eager to stop being a kid and move onto being a cool adult."

Lauren laughed, "I'm a junior in high school, yes. On the track team, yes, but I love the things I love. Cool or uncool." She tapped the edge of the comic. "You can borrow it until our next session, Bo." She stood up, smoothing out her faded jeans. "Just make sure you do the practice quizzes I gave you first."

I nodded, excited to be able to read the comic. "Oh, I promise." I gently placed the comic in backpack and reached for my discman, setting my headphones around my neck. I packed my bag up with Lauren standing next to me, waiting patiently with that warm smile on her face. I swung the bag on my shoulders, gripping the straps tightly. There was a weird reaction in my body whenever she smiled like that, and it was weird.

"Well, see you next week, Bo. If you have any trouble, please let me know. Your mother has my phone number and I can meet you here anytime during the week. Track practice doesn't start until after winter." Lauren stuck out her hand. "It's been great to meet you, Bo."

I stared at her hand, it taking a minute too long for me to do the proper thing and shake her hand like I've seen my dad do a million times with his business friends. "Oh, um." I yanked my hand out of my strap, smacking the play button on my discman. Peter Gabriel's In your eyes, filled my ears at the exact moment I slid my hand into Lauren's.

There was a weird reaction. Her hand was warm, comforting, and sent my heart into a jiggly jumpy beat. All of the noise around me disappeared and all I could hear was the song and look into Lauren's big brown eyes. It was like all the moment in Far and Away when Joseph is knocked out and Christie falls on top of him, finally professing her love for him and he comes back to life. All slow motion and dramatic.

That's what this was. Right? Or was it a major hot flash?

I pulled my hand free when I felt it getting too gross. "Thank you, Lauren. I'll uh, next week." I smiled awkwardly, and walked out of the room quickly. Lauren holding the door open and waving as I almost trampled over the old librarian.

I rushed outside, gasping the cool fall air and shaking my sweaty hands out. What the heck was that? My body never acted stupid before, not even as I'd blossomed into ladyhood over the summer My mom's words, not mine. I chewed on my lip, and started walking towards Tamsin's house. She was a few months older than me, she'd know what was up.

* * *

XXXX

Iris stared at me. "You went to Aunt Tamsin for advice on your pre-teen hormones? Have you met her? I mean…." Iris stood up, grabbing a bag of chips. "So, you were eleven going on twelve and you met your tutor, and it was love at first sight?" She cocked an eyebrow my way. "Did Ma feel the same way? It sounds like she was just the school genius trying to pad her college application with charity work." Iris winked at me.

I shook my head. "Yes, I went to Tamsin for advice. Wrong idea, she had no idea either. Just thought I had a cold." I turned to look at my daughter. "But it took me three weeks to realize I was falling in love with your Ma and that stupid song I play over and over was my guiding light. A guiding light I ignored for a very long time." I shoved my hand into the bag of chips when Iris was next to me. "Sometimes your gut tells you the future, but we're all too stupid and stubborn to listen to it." I shoved a handful of chips in my mouth. "The song was like a ghost, always popping up when I needed to pay attention. But it took me a long time to listen."

"Ma said she fell in love with you at first sight. So, was it that day for her as well?"

I shook my head. "Lauren only saw me as a kid that day. I mean a sixteen-year-old looking at an eleven year old, all they see is a kid. My crush was nothing more than a infatuation in her eyes, until it shifted when Lauren graduated from high school." I smiled, "We had to become friends first, and endure a lot of missteps."

Iris gave me a look, one that reminded me so much of Lauren. "You broke her heart a few times, didn't you?" She set the bag of chips down on the table. "Tams told me a few things about when you were a jerky teenager. Pissed at Lauren for no reason at all, other than she was trying to be kind."

I nodded, looking at my daughter. "Watch your mouth! I did. I did a lot of stupid things. We all do stupid things for love." I grabbed my phone, "Let's go order a pizza and sit in the living room while I tell you the rest of the story."

I walked with Iris into the living room, smiling at the text messages from my wife as I searched out the pizza place.

I typed out a quick message to Lauren.

 _-I'm telling Iris our story.-_

 _-You are? The full unedited one? Not the one we let your mother tell everyone? -_

I chuckled _. – The full unedited one. Where I fell in love with you as a kid and never stopped loving you. -_

 _-It's normal, right? Five years apart in age? I'm kind of happy that I'm missing this conversation. - I could almost feel Lauren roll her eyes in her message._

 _-I'm not. I love watching you talk about the day it all clicked for you. The day you fell in love with me. Hurry home, I miss you. I keep playing our song.-_

 _-I love you too, Bo. You know, we should write Peter Gabriel a letter telling him that it's all his fault. I'll be home soon. I miss you. –_

I tucked my phone away as Iris called for me. Impatiently awaiting the next chapter to the story.


	2. Chapter 2

N: i have no idea where this is headed. I go back to work tomorrow, so updates will be a little slow. Maybe when the next blizzard hits this weekend, i'll have more time. I have no real hard direction to follow in this, just writing as i go. Enjoy!

* * *

"Can I please keep these pics of Aunt T? She looks….amazing." Iris was hunched over the albums I dragged out of the closet. She held up a picture of Tamsin with stringy, over teased hair, huge glasses and the best set of pink braces her parents could afford. "She's wearing overalls. OVERALLS!"

"It was a different time, we were different people." I smiled, flipping through the pictures. "I was different." I said it softly, looking at the shy quiet me. I had Tamsin as my only friend, not because I couldn't make friends. I just was confused at everything that was happening in the world as I was merging out of childhood and into teenage hell.

"Mom, were you a dork in school?" Iris leaned over, snagging a slice of pizza. "You looked like a dork." She tapped my freshman year picture. "Please tell me you're not wearing a giant sweatshirt with a turtle neck? And that hair!"

I laughed, shaking my head. "It was a strange fashion time. I wasn't necessarily a dork. I wasn't anything but a body in the school. No one knew me, I didn't stand out, and I was okay with that. My shyness was crippling until I left high school." I flipped a few more pages, grinning when I found Lauren's track team picture. She was adorable with her polite smile and awkward pose. "She was the only one who could break through it."

Iris made a cute sound, taking the picture from my hands. "So, where did you leave off? You were eleven and pining over an older woman. Sounds a lot like the graduate." My daughter looked at the image of her mother. "Ma was really skinny."

I nodded, sitting back on the couch. "She was lean. Tall, lean, and careful." I closed my eyes, remembering the week I realized I was buggered in love with my tutor. "Before I fast forward this story, I'll tell you the moment I knew I was in love with her."

* * *

Xxxx

"What happened to your tutoring session?" Tamsin asked as she laid on the floor in my living room with me. Both of us were reading the weeks comics and talking about how much we hated middle school.

"Lauren had to go to some college meeting on the other side of the state." I picked up another comic, "We're meeting Monday at lunch. She just wants to check over my quizzes and the new weeks homework." I felt the smile forming on my face as I thought about my tutor. It was something I found happened a lot whenever I thought about Lauren. That and I'd sweat a ton more, get nervous, and get a serious staring addiction. I couldn't stop staring at Lauren and watching her every move.

"Why are you smiling about homework, doofus?" Tamsin's lisp was horrendous. She had gotten braces two weeks ago and was still trying to figure out how to talk. "Homework sucks."

I sighed, tossing the comic in my hand to the floor. "Lauren makes it suck less. She's so smart. She's really nice, and we talk about stuff and I don't feel like an annoying kid hanging out with a cool high schooler." I turned to Tamsin, huge grin on my face. "Did you know she likes comics? Wonder Woman is her favorite."

Tamsin pushed her giant glasses up and glared at me. "Do you know that you talk about Lauren every three seconds, and when you do, you get this dopey look?" She squinted at me, "Are you crushing on her?"

I felt my eyes go wide with panic, and I stumbled over my words. "No. No. Ew. I don't have crushes. Crushes are gross." I stood up quickly, trying to avoid my racing heart and my sweaty palms. "EW, Tamsin."

Tamsin started laughing, pointing at me. "I'm just kidding, Bo!" She shook her head, "But if you did have a crush on her, I'd be cool with it. My Aunt in San Francisco has a girlfriend, ain't no big deal if you like girls or boys."

I turned to my best friend, my nerves out of control. "Have you ever had a crush?"

Tamsin nodded, reaching for the bowl of chips my mom brought us. "Sure. I kinda liked that senior on the football team. He helped pick up my books when I dropped them. He smelled good, like old leather." Tamsin smiled, "But then I saw him scratching his balls and sniffing them. That killed it."

I laughed nervously, swallowing hard. "So how did you know you liked him?"

"I got all sweaty, nervous, and I couldn't stop staring at him. My heart also got weird when he was around and I smelled his cologne." Tamsin sat back on her elbows. "My mom said its normal. Something about hormones driving us crazy."

I swallowed hard again, nodding. More panic as all of those symptoms lined up with what I felt when Lauren was around. "Okay." I blew out a breath, "Tamsin. I think I have a crush on Lauren."

Tamsin stopped mid shoving a handful of chips into her mouth, blinking at me. "Oh."

An awkward silence fell between us. Tamsin just staring at me while she slowly chewed on the chips.

As I went to open my mouth to blabber out my feelings, I heard my dad yell for me to come downstairs, there was someone here to see me.

I blew out a slow breath and took the distraction to leave the room. I was about to crap my pants. I confessed something to Tamsin and it weirded her out. I was about to lose the only friend I had.

I ran around the corner, tears stinging my eyes when I heard Lauren's voice.

"Hey, Bo."

I looked up to see her standing in the doorway talking to my mom. She was grinning at me, holding a brown paper bag. I smiled, waved and kept my distance. "Hi." I cleared my throat, trying to not sound so freaked out.

Lauren stepped towards me, she wore a coat that looked a lot like my dad's from the Navy, and a thick scarf. Her hair was tied up in a ponytail, and her eyes sparkled. Yep. I was crushing hard on my tutor.

"Bo, I just got back in town from trip. I wanted to stop and check on your progress this week. I felt really bad I couldn't make our meeting this morning." Her smile faded slightly. "You've been doing really well in Algebra. I've even heard your grades went up in intro to chemistry?"

I nodded, that broken bobble head thing I always did when she was around. "Um, yeah. It's good." I heard footsteps behind me and turned to find Tamsin standing right behind me, staring at me and Lauren. I waved at her, "This is Tamsin, my best friend." I waved at Lauren, "Tams, this is my tutor."

Tamsin smiled, pushing her glasses up and said a lisp laden 'sup. Lauren laughed, "I know Tamsin. My track coach has been scouting her. He can tell she's going to be a tall lanky one. His words, not mine." Lauren grinned, "He's going to come talk to you on Tuesday, Tamsin. Be ready for the grand speeches of Coach Mellor."

Tamsin shrugged, "It's cool. My dad wants me to start doing sports." She pointed at Lauren's coat. "Is that a rebel alliance pin?"

"It is. I've heard they're making more movies where Princess Leia becomes a general." Lauren's smile never left her face. It was as if she was made to smile and make my heart flip out every time she did. "Oh, here. I got you something while I was on my trip." She held out the brown paper bag to me. "It's a little something for acing your last Algebra exam."

I took the paper bag with a sweaty shaky hand. "Thanks." I frowned when my voice came out like a dying squeaky toy. I peeked into the bag and saw a thin stack of comics.

"They're the entire Wonder woman, superman crossover from last spring. I found them in an old comic shop and remembered you talking about missing them when they came out." Lauren tucked her hands into her coat pocket. "But, like always, read them when you're done with homework."

I grinned, meeting Lauren's eyes. "Thank you, Lauren. This is awesome. You're awesome." I freaked out the second the words fell across my mouth.

Tamsin snatched the bag from my head. "Wonder Woman and Superman! Oh snap! This is some good shit."

Lauren and I both glared at Tamsin and her mouth. Tamsin rolled her eyes, "My dad is a cop. He swears all day, everyday. I inherited his bad mouth." She took a step back, "I'm gonna go in the kitchen and get a drink. It was nice to meet you, Lauren. Bo talks a lot about you." She smirked my way before rushing into the kitchen.

I shook my head, "I just…uh… talk about the stuff we work on." I wiped my hands on the back of my jeans. The sweating was getting out of hand. "That's it. Nothing else."

Lauren reached out, squeezing my shoulder. "Don't worry, Bo. We're friends, you don't have to keep our friendship a secret?"

"We're friends?" I was shocked at Laurens words. "I'm a middle schooler, and you're a junior. I mean…" I tilted my head down, my heart was pounding at the way she touched my shoulder.

"We're friends, Bo. Age doesn't matter. You're really smart, funny, and we both love comics. It doesn't matter that I'm in high school. Although, I'm technically a sophomore taking junior classes and I'm tutoring you." Lauren stepped closer, placing a hand under my chin to lift my head up to look at her. "You're my friend, Bo."

This is where fate, karma, or whatever struck again. Tamsin turned on VH1 and that song filled the air. I fell into that weird Far and Away moment again as Lauren grinned, talking to me. I wasn't sure what she said, I couldn't hear it. All I heard was the song, and the world moving in slow motion as my heart dropped to the pit of my stomach and rushed back into my chest. Thumping hard.

It all ended when Lauren stepped back, tucking her hands in her coat. The connection was cut and I snapped back into reality, Tamsin loudly clearing her throat from the couch. I turned and caught her squinty green eyes, glaring at me.

"I have to go, Bo. But I'll see you Monday?"

I spun back to look at Lauren, blank faced and utterly confused at to what the heck just happened and what it all meant. "Yeah, Monday. Lunch time?"

I waved at Lauren as she left my house. I stood in my place, frozen and freaking out. My heart was pounding so hard, I was certain it was a heart attack.

"I don't think it's a crush, Bo." Tamsin half hung off the back of the couch. "I think you're in love with your tutor." She smirked, winking at me. "You went full stupid when she touched you. Open mouthed, drool rolling out like my grandmas old bassett hound."

I slowly turned to look at Tamsin, tears filling my eyes. "Oh balls. I am in love with her."

Tamsin threw a pillow at me, "Don't cry. My mom says it'll pass. Falling in love every six seconds is part of being a teenager." She slid back down into the couch. "You'll forget about it in a week, after we see that new Harrison Ford movie. You love him."

I closed my eyes. I wanted Tamsin and her mom to be right, but deep down, I knew I was in love with Lauren forever.

* * *

XXXX

"Ma gave you comic books and that's what made you fall in love?" Iris looked at me confused. "Aunt T told me about that day. Said you went full zombie when that song came on. And is this why we watch Far and Away once a year around Christmas? I just thought you had a secret crush on Tom Cruise."

I chuckled, curling my legs up under me. "It wasn't the comic books. Well, maybe it was the act of kindness that triggered it. But deep down, I think your Ma was, is, my soul mate. And that day it all just fell into place." I reached for a slice of pizza. "I had a hell of a time for months dealing with my feelings for your Ma. It was made harder as our friendship grew, and she became my other best friend. Everything was fine. We would hang out, and Lauren had a way of making things so comfortable, I'd forget my nagging feelings for her. We had fun. We'd laugh, go to the movies with Tamsin, and hang out during track practice. Lauren was helping with Tamsin's conditioning and I'd sit and do my homework. I soon was able to shove my feelings away and focus on school. Lauren was helping me stop being so shy, and I was growing up with ease. I felt so cool having an older friend that was in college, but still being my friend." I looked at my daughter. "I was shoving my feelings down for a long time. Then my hormones shifted again at sixteen and I became a raging asshole. Jealousy is a vicious fool when it's mixed with youthful confusion."

Iris gave me a look. "Uh oh. What did you do?"

I sighed, "I tried shoving your Ma away to avoid dealing with what I felt for her. She'd moved on to college on the other side of the state, and came home for Christmas one year." I sighed again, cringing internally at my memories of that horrible Christmas. "She brought her girlfriend home with her."

Iris chuckled. "The Chrismapocalypse of '97. Aunt T mentioned this a few weeks ago when the stores started putting out the Christmas decorations."

"It was an apocalypse of sorts. I almost destroyed everything, I almost lost Lauren."

XXxx

1997

"Jingle bells, batman smells!" Tamsin sang loudly in the backyard, holding a string of Christmas lights. "Thank god it's Christmas break."

I laughed at her lisp. It wasn't as bad as it was when she was twelve, but it was still there. She still had to wear a retainer as her mouth was growing out of control. Figuratively and literally. "I'm excited to be off school for a little while. I need a break from my advanced courses and from Mikey." I stapled a few inches of the strand to the window sill. My dad had sent Tamsin and I out to string lights on the windows while he worked untangling the ball of lights in the garage. "He's been really annoying lately, more annoying ever since I turned him down for prom."

"Mikey is a tool. I get he's the captain of the soccer team, but he's a tool." Tamsin moved closer to me. "But you should go out with somebody, Bo. People are wondering why you won't date. You're a semi babe and all the seniors are lining up to ask you out."

I frowned, turning to grab another string. "No one interests me. And I don't have time with my course load and working at the video store on the weekends."

Tamsin cocked an eyebrow, "You gotta let go of Lauren. She's in college and you're a sophomore. That's a world apart, and you've been pining over her for way too long. She doesn't look at you more than a friend, the doofus."

I shook my head, hating that Tamsin was right. "We're friends." That was a bold face lie. "I just haven't found anyone I like." I smiled tightly. Truth was I'd been holding out until now to finally tell Lauren my feelings. I was sixteen and she was twenty one. It wouldn't be weird if I told her how I felt about her, my mom's coworker had a daughter who was seventeen dating a twenty four year old. My parents liked Lauren, it'd be okay. But I was tired of smiling politely and brushing off the inquiries about how my dating life was severely lacking in the prime of my high school years. I loved Lauren and I was going to tell her tonight when we met up for our yearly trip to the movies.

"You're worse than Romeo and Juliet. This isn't going to pan out for you, Bo. I like Lauren, she's been good for you, but it's time." Tamsin looked at me with a concerned look. "You gotta move on."

"I'm fine." I stapled the last few bits of lights on the window and brushed the snow from my hands. "Let's go inside. I need to change and get ready."

"It's not a date, Bo. It's a friendly outing. I was invited, remember? But I have to work at the Chinese delivery place tonight." Tamsin punched my shoulder. "Promise me by new year's that you'll at least go on one date with Mikey? At least try?"

I shrugged, Tamsin had no idea of my plans to tell Lauren how I felt about her. "Sure. I'll think about it." In my head this was a no brainer. I'd tell Lauren I loved her, she'd feel the same and we'd go scampering off into the sunset. Arm in arm, together forever.

"Sweet." Tamsin slapped my back as we went inside for cookies.

* * *

Two hours later –

I sat on my bed, fidgeting with my hair. I had spent so much time on it, getting it perfect. I picked the perfect outfit and was prepared to do this. I had the small envelope with the letter I'd written to Lauren on my dresser, next to the little box wrapped in gold Christmas paper. I was so excited to see her, more excited to move forward with her. I smiled at myself in the mirror, wiping my sweaty hands on my jeans.

Then I heard the doorbell ring. I snatched the letter and my gift, jamming them into the pockets of my coat and ran downstairs.

Lauren was standing in the doorway, greeting my parents and I stopped mid jog. Lauren was drop dead gorgeous. She had begun to grown into her lanky body, and it was magical to look at. I'd not seen her since the end of summer, and I didn't care that I was staring. Lauren was beautiful, and my heart echoed the sentiment, racing like a jet engine. I grinned when she met my eyes, "Hey Bo."

"Hey Lauren." I rushed over to her, throwing my arms around her and hugging the crap out of her. She smelled amazing, and I closed my eyes. Tonight she would be mine and I could hug her every day, all day, if I wanted. "I missed you." I half whispered the words.

Lauren chuckled, leaning out of my hug. "I missed you too." She ran her eyes over me, "Your mom said you were taller, I didn't realize I'd be hanging out with an amazon this break."

I blushed and stepped away. "I hit a growth spurt last month." I glanced at the clock, "The movie starts in an hour. We have time to stop at the candy store and get a few things to sneak in. I'm driving tonight." Another step in my plan. I'd drive and get even more alone time with Lauren.

"Is there room for three?" A strange voice pulled me from staring at the love of my life. A tall brunette stepped next to Lauren. She wrapped an arm around hers, and kissed her on the cheek. Lauren blushed and tipped her head down. "You must be, Bo."

I glared at this woman kissing my Lauren. "Hi? And who are you?" I tried my best to control my jealousy, but ever since I turned sixteen, I couldn't control a damn emotion.

Lauren swallowed hard, her cheeks a bright red as she looked at me. "Bo, this is Jane. She's my girlfriend."

The brunette stuck out her hand, "It's nice to meet Lauren's little friend. I've heard so much about the infamous Bo McCorrigan."

I bit the inside of my cheek as the emotions all collided into one, creating a huge maelstrom of something I couldn't control. "Lauren's girlfriend?" I knew my voice squeaked as I spoke. I felt my heart skip and drop to the bottom of my stomach.

"Yup, we've been dating for three months." Jane grinned, kissing Lauren on the cheek again. "She's incredible." Jane looked at me, grin firmly affixed, "I kinda invited myself along on this movie outing. I want to get to know Lauren's friends and family. Is that okay? I'm really excited to see L.A. Confidential. I've heard great things."

I clenched my jaw, "Yeah, me too." I met Lauren's eyes and I saw something pass across them that I didn't understand at the moment. It would take me a few more years to figure that out. I grabbed my car keys, "Let's go, I don't like being late for the previews."

I brushed past Lauren and Jane, sucking a large breath of the cold air as I trudged towards my Dodge Stratus. I ignored the two women as I climbed into the driver's seat. Only smiling politely when Lauren made a small joke for my benefit. I ignored it, doing my best to push down the jealousy and heartache that was piling up like a broken sewer line. I knew something bad was going to happen tonight, but I couldn't fight that gut feeling or myself from making that bad thing happen.


	3. Chapter 3

**N: I have nothing to say...so read on and enjoy! and to the one guest...yes writing is hard, and more often than not all of my stories are finished, but there is this thing called writer's block, and it often makes writing impossible. But i keep writing, and sometimes shifting projects helps move other things out of the block.**

 **Anyways, the time jumps are large in this one, but it's necessary. I think? Who knows, but i hope you enjoy!**

* * *

"Mom. What did you do?" Iris leaned forward. She stared at me with rapt attention.

I smiled, pushing the pizza crust around my plate. "Something stupid. Jealousy and heartbreak are a wicked combination. It didn't help that I swallowed down years of my feelings." I stared at the plate. "I was so dumb."

I was more than dumb, I was irrational and consumed by teenage hormones. The worst combination since vodka and water.

* * *

XXXX

I sat low in the seat, shoving handful after handful of popcorn into my mouth. I was sitting on Lauren's left side while Jane sat on the right, giggling endlessly. They both were giggling, and it was pissing me off. I couldn't hear the movie over their disgusting noises.

I huffed and tossed the empty popcorn bucket to the floor, and glanced at Lauren. She was grinning while Jane was in her ear, and my jealousy spiked to a crazy level. I stood up from my seat, "I need more popcorn." And strode out of the theater. I was half tempted to leave the two gross lovebirds there, but I was their ride, but then again, I didn't care. I'd endured about forty-five minutes of cuteness and missed most of the movie's plotline.

I paced around the snack counter, debating on leaving. I was also fighting the stomach pains that rolled through me each time I looked at Lauren. I was so in love with her, and it was painful to deal with.

"Bo?"

I spun around at the sound of Lauren's voice, she was walking towards me, a serious look on her face. I felt my heart ease the tiniest bit, until I saw Jane right behind Lauren. I frowned looking down at the tops of my boots, "I can't decide between popcorn or twizzlers."

Jane chuckled, yanking on Lauren's arm. "Babe, we should head to that party soon. Steve got a keg and made a thousand jello shots." Jane glanced at me, her smirk irritating the hell out of me. "The movie is kind of boring as it is."

I clenched my jaw and turned away from the two, "I can take you both home. It's no big deal."

I heard Lauren sigh, it was her annoyed sigh. One I heard a few times over the years when I refused to do a assignment, or bombed a test. "Jane, you know how important my yearly movie with Bo is. The party can wait." Lauren looked up at me, "Are you okay? You seem, different." I watched as Lauren's eyes roamed over me, and I swore she swallowed hard when she hit the few parts of my body that finally filled in.

I shook my head, waving her off even as my heart raced. I went to open my mouth, when Jane spoke. "Dude, Lauren. She's just a kid. You promised me that we'd hang out with my friends and you'd do your best to leave the little kid friends here." Jane rolled her eyes, "Everyone thinks it's super weird you're friends with a lame teenager. You agreed with me, so let's go to the party. The kid doesn't want to be here just as much as I don't."

I clenched my jaw, dug out my keys and rushed towards the doors. I was three seconds away from choking Jane out. "I'll take you back to my house. I can see this movie later with Tamsin." I looked back at Lauren staring at me blankly, "I'd hate for you to feel even weirder, Lauren."

I ran out into the cold air, barely noticing it was starting to snow heavily. I was desperate to get away from these two. My heart was slowly breaking in two, and there was nothing stopping it.

The drive home from the theater was painfully silent. Lauren sat next to me while Jane was in the back, loudly smacking gum and telling Lauren about the plans for the rest of the weekend. Lauren would mumble, and stare at me. It was as if she was trying to stare the truth out of me.

I pulled into the driveway and went to jump out of the car, when Lauren grabbed my forearm. "Bo, wait. I think we need to talk." Lauren handed her car keys to Jane, telling her to go warm it up. Jane left me alone with Lauren in a heavy silence.

I finally shook my head, "It's fine. I know I'm just a kid." I jammed my hand into my coat, flinching when I felt the envelope and Lauren's gift. I frowned, biting the inside of my cheek to prevent from crying. I stared at the green digital display of the radio, hoping Lauren would just leave me and I could cry out the mixed bowl of emotions I was sitting in.

"You're not a kid. You're my friend, my best friend, Bo." Lauren let out a slow breath, "Jane and I've only been dating a short while."

I smiled painfully, "You don't need to explain." I swallowed hard, looking up at Lauren. She was staring at me with those big brown eyes, and it physically hurt. I looked away, "You shouldn't keep her waiting."

Lauren sighed, "Bo, I need to explain. Because you're different, and I think I know why." She dropped her hand away. "Do you…have feelings for me?"

I felt all of the air in the car get sucked out, and I suddenly felt like I was drowning. I gripped the steering wheel to the point my knuckles were turning white. "What?" My voice cracked a little as I said the singular word.

"Jane noticed it when we came to get you. Then I noticed your body language over the last couple of hours, and how much you hate Jane." Lauren spoke softly.

I laughed, "I don't hate Jane." That was a lie. I despised the very existence of Jane. "I just don't know her."

"Bo." Lauren shifted in her seat. "I know at sixteen everything is confusing and weird. Please just tell me if I've done anything wrong. We've never held anything back, and I'm worried about you."

"That's not a joke." I closed my eyes and leaned my forehead against the steering wheel. My emotions were starting to boil over and I needed to get out of the car. But Lauren was right, we'd never held anything back from each other over the years. I knew everything about her, and she knew everything about me. I wasn't surprised she noticed my weirdness and that I was different. Falling in love with your best friend tends to make one different around them. "Lauren, you're my best friend, and have been since I was eleven." I slowly turned to look at her. Fuck it. "Fine. I…like you. A lot." I closed my eyes, "Matter of fact, I'm very much in love with you. I love you Lauren Lewis." I let out a deep breath when I finished saying it.

I'd hope I'd hear her say the same back, or wrap me in her warm arms. Instead, I heard the car door open and was met with a cold blast of air. My eyes snapped open to the sight of Lauren pacing around the front of the car. Her hands running through her hair at a frantic pace. I jumped out of the car and rushed over to her. "Lauren, I meant…."

Lauren held up her hand, "I know what you meant." She paced, "Bo, you can't. We're five years apart. I'm an adult and you're still in high school." She was talking rapidly. "We're friends. I'm sorry if I ever led you on." She squeezed her eyes shut, "You're just a kid, I should've known better."

Hearing her say it, sent me over the edge and I lost my mind. "No! I'm not just a kid! I'm a woman, I'm a person who knows exactly what I feel about you." I threw my hands up in the air. "I do love you, Lauren and it's not a stupid fad, a hormonal effect, or anything like that. I love you, and have for a very long time. The only stupid thing I know for sure about life, is you, Lauren. You are the only thing that makes sense."

"Bo, please." Lauren looked at me, her eyes glossy with anger, pain, or whatever. I couldn't tell. I just knew I screwed the pooch and this was the end. So, if it was the end, I was going to go balls out and walk away from this throwing all of my cards on the table.

I rushed towards Lauren and grabbed the sides of her face, and pulled into a hard kiss. I kissed her, my heart skipping when I felt her lips on mine. God, they were as soft as I imagined and perfect, nothing like the handful of gross boys I kissed over the years as practice. My fate was now sealed, Lauren Lewis was my one and only. I kissed her until I felt her long fingers wrap around my hands and pull them free. I swallowed hard, "I've wanted to do that for four years. I love you."

Lauren gently pushed me away, her cheeks flushed red. "Bo…" Her jaw twitched as she held up her hands, I went to reach for her. "Don't. Please don't." She took a step away, shaking her head. "You shouldn't have done that, Bo." Her voice trembled as she spoke, "We're friends…you're a kid, and I'm a boring adult who has no clue about life."

I felt the tears rise, a few spilling down my cheeks. I took a step towards her, "Lauren…."

She shook her head and went to move towards her car, when I finally lost it completely and grabbed the envelope out of my pocket with the gift and threw it at her. The two landing in the snow at her feet. "Fine! But I can't be friends with you, Lauren. I can't, so I won't. I'm not going to sit and play pretend when I've spent the last few years faking it. I can't, it hurts too much. I love you and I'm never going to apologize for it." I pointed at the small gold box at her feet, "That's your gift. Keep it, throw it out, I don't give a shit anymore. Merry Christmas, Lauren and thank you for trampling over my heart like it was a light bulb. Some friend you are. I hope I never see you again!" I ran back to my car, and started it up. Throwing it in reverse I squealed out of the driveway and gunned it down the snowy street. I waited until I turned the corner until I let the tears flow. I stopped at a stop sign, sobbing when that damn song came on. It was on a mixed cd I'd made, one I'd hoped to give Lauren at the end of the night. I yelled at the cd player, ejected the cd and broke it in half. I tossed the pieces out of the window and drove off. My chest heart so much, my stomach was rolling, and I had no idea what I was going to do now. My heart was completely broken, and I only knew one thing. I never wanted to see Lauren Lewis again.

* * *

XXXX

"Clearly you didn't drive off a cliff, or I wouldn't be here." Iris stared at me with wide eyes. "But where did you go? And how did it become Christmapocalypse?"

I smiled, tossing the pizza crusts in the empty box. "I wanted to drive off a cliff, but I was at least two hundred miles away from any decent cliff. So, I did the next best thing, and drove to the Chinese restaurant where Tamsin worked. She sat with me on the dumpster in the back while it snowed, feeding me egg rolls as I cried my heart out." I closed the pizza box, looking over at the fireplace, "The christmapocalypse part was because when I got home that night, I threw everything Lauren Lewis related into a garbage can and lit it on fire. That fire kind of got out of hand and I accidentally burned the plastic santa and reindeer set my dad had hanging from a tree."

Iris laughed, shaking her head. "Is this why grandpa gives you and ma crap at Christmas time?"

I nodded, laughing, "Yeah. I almost burnt the house down, but that wasn't the worst part. I changed that day, and not for the best. I became a big asshole who didn't care about much. I was a sixteen-year-old with a broken heart and no real will to keep living. Dramatic, I know. But it was how I felt. It took me a few years to mellow out, and I didn't settle down until the summer I turned twenty and was working in my summer internship." I lifted the empty pizza box, moving to throw it out and glancing at the framed map of the D.C. metro maps, smiling at the memories it brought back.

"Was that when Aunt T was working for the DEA as an intern and you were with the Smithsonian? Doing that marketing internship for all the museums? Aunt T told me a few wild stories about that summer." Iris followed me, sliding the dirty plates into the dishwasher.

"Those are her wild stories, mine were much more tame. I was a wild college kid until I got that internship. Partying, drinking, dating everyone on campus, got old after a while. I finally resigned to growing up and starting my path of being an old spinister." I wiped the counter down, leaning against it as I looked at my daughter. "As much as I tried to burn Lauren Lewis out of my system, she never left. I hated her, so much." I frowned at my own words, absently spinning the wedding ring on my finger.

Iris leaned over, throwing her arm around me. "The people you hate the most, are often the ones who love you the most. That's something you and ma taught me." She covered my left hand, "I only dream to find the love you two have."

I grinned at my daughter, kissing her cheek. "I dream that for you, too, kiddo."

Iris hugged me, before moving to the freezer. "Since we're having a fat story telling day, let's make those messy s'mores sundaes and eat them in the library. It's always been my favorite thing to do with you and ma."

I grinned wider, pushing off from the counter to grab bowls. "I'm still surprised your ma lets you eat in the library. She's so particular about everything."

Iris winked at me, "She is, but love makes you do stupid things. Right?" She giggled, sliding the tub of ice cream my way. "So, tell me about the summer of fun."

* * *

XXXX

I stood in front of the massive entrance to the Natural History museum, clutching my bag in one hand, and wiping the sweat off my forehead with the other. It was already stupid hot for late May, but I didn't care. I was about to start an amazing internship, in a new city, and I was ready for the change. I was almost done with college and I was ready to start my career. Start my new life away from college and the past that still haunted me.

I sucked in a breath, smoothed out my dress and walked into the front doors. I had been offered a position with the Smithsonian marketing department, a paid internship, and I took it immediately. Tamsin came with me, taking a paid internship with DEA to sort and file evidence in the basement. We both were on the right path and beyond excited to leave our old lives behind in the east and become southern ladies for a summer.

I smiled at the smell of old everything in the lobby, and walked towards the front desk. I needed this. I needed this change, the last year had been rough. My last relationship burned to the ground and I was swearing off romance forever. I was done dating the intellectual boys who were so full of themselves, and didn't understand why I didn't want to be more than a marketing major. I was done dating the girls who, no matter how hard I tried, always reminded me of Lauren. Tamsin would spot the similarities and I would end up breaking up with the girl a few days later, also noticing I did indeed have a type.

I swore to remain single for the rest of my life.

I walked to the desk, smiling at the older lady sitting behind it. "Hi, can you please point me in the direction of Stella Robbins office? I'm starting today as a marketing intern."

The older lady smiled, "I sure can. Take a left at the T-rex, head down through the primate exhibit, and turn right at entrance to the aquarium. You'll see a hallway with a bunch of offices, Mrs. Robbins is the fourth on the right." She slid a map across the desk, I smiled when I saw she drew lines for me to follow.

"Thank you." I turned and started following the map, occasionally looking up to check out the exhibits. It'd been years since I was in the nation's capital, and I felt like a kid all over again. Oogling over the dinosaur bones, and elaborate exhibits.

I moved quickly, finding Stella Robbins name painted on the pebbled glass door to her office. I knocked lightly, swallowing down the last of my nerves when I heard a soft voice telling me to come in.

I entered to find an office that seemed to escape the hands of time. All of it looked like it was untouched from the fifties, and it made me smile. I loved the feel of the office immediately, solidifying my choice in taking this job. I spotted a woman standing at the window, flipping through a book. She was older, wearing a dress, her salt and pepper hair pulled up in a conservative bun. "Excuse me, Mrs. Robbins? I'm Bo McCorrigan."

The woman looked up, grinning as she moved to shake my hand. "Ah, yes, my intern for the summer. Hello, Bo McCorrigan." She waved at the chair in front of her desk. "Please, have a seat." She leaned over and picked up the phone. "Let me call in the liaison for the Air and Space museum. This summer marketing project is a unified effort between the three major museums. You'll meet David later, he's from the American History museum, but he's tied up in a budget meeting."

I nodded, looking around the office as I set my bag down. "Thank you for giving me this opportunity. I'm looking forward to learning so much."

Mrs. Robbins hung up the phone. "It's our pleasure, Bo. Many students pass this opportunity up, thinking that we're not a large marketing firm, when in reality, we are. We work closely with the largest firms in the world, and most of my interns end up having their pick of the litter and move on to exceptional careers in the marketing world. If you can sell history, you can sell anything." Mrs. Robbins winked at me, turning when she heard a soft knock on the door. "Ah, there she is now. Please excuse me."

Mrs. Robbins stood up and walked to the door, leaving me to absorb her words. I hope to god she was right, I had dreams of working in New York City or London at a fancy firm. I started wringing my hands when Mrs. Robbins walked back in.

I stood up smoothing out my skirt as she spoke. "Bo, I'd like you to meet Dr. Lauren Lewis. She's the current liaison to the Air and Space museum. She's one of the brightest and best astrophysicists in the country, and is helping us out in making space and science cool again." My heart seized when I heard the name, all of the air being sucked out of the room.

"I'm barely a doctor, Mrs. Robbins, I only received my PHD two months ago." Lauren was grinning with her head down, her cheeks turning pink. She looked up, her grin fading slightly when she met my eyes.

"Potato, potatoe, Doctor. You're a gem, and I'm happy to have you." Mrs. Robbins stood next to me, "This is my new intern, Bo McCorrigan. She came highly recommended from Boston Cambridge University."

Lauren stared at me, and I stared back. She was incredible looking. Her long blonde hair flowed around her shoulders, her dark blue safari shirt was tight in all the right places, and her long black slacks hugged her curves. Lauren had grown up and only become more beautiful, and that pain in my heart I thought I threw out in the snow, surged back. Her brow scrunched up, as she glanced at the files in her hands. "Hi Bo McCorrigan, it's….been awhile….since Mrs. Robbins had a intern." She cleared her throat, putting on a tight professional smile as she handed the files over to my boss. I could see by the way she looked at me, she was not happy with my presence in the same room as her.

I swallowed hard, my jaw clenching as my hands began to sweat. I spoke, but I don't remember what I said. It all blanked out in my head as my heart kept repeating oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, over and over again.

I suddenly became that broken hearted sixteen-year-old, desperately trying to be an adult and not run out of the room as fast as I could.

This was going to be a long, shitty summer if I had to work side by side with the one woman who destroyed my heart.


	4. Chapter 4

**N: short one, i know. These might all be short. But it's going to be a quick story without the usual crazy angst i do. The other song i mention here is I ain't missing you by John Waite. It's a good one that will show up in the story along with In your eyes. Anyway, read on and enjoy!**

* * *

"Mom, even though I know the ending of this story, it's still killing me!" Iris spun around in Lauren's desk chair, tapping her nose with her spoon. "Did Ma run away from you like a scared deer? Did you give her another solid piece of your broken-hearted mind? Did Aunt T slash Ma's tires?" She glanced at me, "My mind is racing at the possibilities. The great reunion and it sounds like you were legit over anything, and everything, Lauren Lewis. Astrophysicist extraordinaire." She shook her head, ceasing her spinning to lay both her hands on the top of Lauren's desk. "Ugh, I wish Ma was home, so I could ask her side. Get a double point of view on this epic story."

I laughed, swirling the fudge into the vanilla ice cream. "I'm shocked your ma lets you eat in her office. This place is like a spotless sanctuary of her." I leaned back into the leather couch across from the desk. I was thinking of that summer, and how awkward it all started out to be.

Iris rolled her eyes, "Ma and I spend a lot of time in here when you're at work. We talk about science, my college applications, my school days, and wonder woman." Iris smirked, "You're avoiding, mom. Please continue with your story, or I'm face timing ma! Or worse, I'll call Aunt T and have her over here in five minutes."

I held my hands up in mock surrender, looking over my kids shoulder to look at the photograph taken at the end of the summer. It was Lauren and I standing under the T-Rex. I was grinning like I won the lottery, and Lauren's cheeks were so red, they looked sunburn. I almost wanted to rush to the end of the story, get to that part of the summer and how it changed my entire life. But I knew Iris would be pissed. The simple sight of the picture made me grin, "Fine! I'll pick up right where I left off!"

Iris grinned and leaned back into the chair, placing her mixing bowl full of ice cream on her lap.

* * *

XXXx

I zoned out so hard, I didn't hear a damn thing Mrs. Robbins said to me. I sat staring at her blankly, clutching the packet she gave me. I couldn't focus with Lauren sitting next to me and her perfume filling the air, throwing me back into the past with every breath.

I was also thinking of how I could get out of this mess. Maybe I could go work with Tamsin. I'm sure the DEA would have a marketing department. I could work on those drugs are bad posters, and add some spice to the most wanted section of their website. I'd be willing to do anything as long as it was far away from Lauren.

"Bo?"

I snapped my head up and out of the clouds. Mrs. Robbins was staring at me with a tight smile. "Yes?"

"I know it's a lot to take in. This is a large project, but I know you and Dr. Lewis can make it happen. You two are the brightest we could find." Mrs. Robbins folded her hands on top of her desk. "Bo, you'll start officially on Wednesday. Dr. Lewis will show you around for the last half of this day, and then tomorrow I'd like you to tour the museums and take notes. I'm open to any fresh ideas." She handed Lauren a thin envelope. "Dr. Lewis, please get Bo set up with her ID card. She'll need access to all the museums."

"Of course, Mrs. Robbins." Lauren spoke softly as she took the envelope, "And please call me Lauren."

Mrs. Robbins grinned, "You've earned your title, Dr. Lewis. You need to get used to hearing it." She stood up smoothing out her skirt. "Alright? Any questions?"

I shook my head, standing up and wiping my sweaty hands on the side of my pants. "No, Mrs. Robbins. I don't have any just yet, but I'm sure come Thursday, I'll have a ton."

I stepped back to the office door as Mrs. Robbins issued a few more instructions to Lauren. Lauren cleared her voice, coming up just a step behind me. "Bo? If you're ready, I'd like to take you to security and get your ID card set up. Then I can show you around easier." Her voice shook slightly, so much that if you didn't know the woman, you wouldn't notice. But I knew Lauren, god did I know Lauren, and I picked up on it. She was nervous.

"Thank you, Dr. Lewis." I knew my tone had a bite to it, but I didn't care. Lauren was a painful thorn in my ass. I clutched the packet to my chest and walked out the door Lauren held open for me.

"Please call me Lauren, Bo." She walked next to me.

I wanted to walk on the other side of the hallway, anything to push more distance between me and her intoxicating perfume. I cursed my hormones and heart, reacting to a happy memory. I tightened my jaw, "I prefer Dr. Lewis, I'd hate to be unprofessional." I heard her sigh as she directed me through the hallway and down to the lobby.

We remained silent as Lauren took me into security. She stood in the back as I handed over my driver's license and other information to the guard. He took my picture and went in a back room to process my ID card. I looked around the room, doing my best to avoid looking at Lauren. I was focusing on the music coming from the guard's old boom box. He had it on a oldies station and I prayed to the heavens, _that_ stupid song wouldn't come on while I was in the same room with her.

But I slipped when I turned to quickly at the sound of a door closing.

This is where I caught Lauren staring right at me, her eyes were wide, it was clear I'd caught her checking me out. Her cheeks turned a soft pink color, and she tipped her head down. "Um, so. How have you been Bo? Boston Cambridge University is an excellent school, a far cry from Florida State where you originally wanted to go to." Her brow scrunched up at her own awkwardness.

"I've been fine, Dr. Lewis. Yes, BCU is an excellent school." I smiled tightly and turned back to the twenty points of staying safe poster on the wall. "You don't have to show me around, I can figure things out after I get my badge." I cringed at how shitty my tone was, but the sixteen-year-old me was screaming in delight. She wanted me to continue slinging crap at the woman who destroyed my heart. "I'm sure you're busy."

I heard her sigh again, "Bo." Lauren moved away from the wall, "I know we left things in a strange place…"

I scoffed, chuckling, "A strange place? Okay, if that's how you want to justify it." I folded my arms across my chest. I swallowed hard as another Peter Gabriel song came on the radio, crinkling the packet crushed into my arms. "We don't need to talk about it." Thank god it was that one duet song he did that I hated.

Lauren stepped closer, "I'm sorry. That's not what I meant."

I shook my head, staring at the back door, silently begging the guard to get his ass out here and get me the hell out of this room. "It's fine."

That's when the radio started playing another song that I'd linked to after Lauren disappeared. I closed my eyes, cursing John Waite and his incredible lyrics. I felt my heart tighten as the song spoke the truth my heart was constantly hiding over the years. Shit, I even once wrote Lauren a letter when I was drunk at nineteen, referencing these lyrics. _I ain't missing you at all._ If only that had been true. I've missed her every damn day since that snowy day.

"Bo, there's a lot I need to tell you." She paused, her hand settling nervously onto my shoulder. "I've missed you."

I turned to look at her, the song reaching its heights and I saw in her amber eyes a thousand things. Lauren smiled softly, "You were my best friend…and I screwed up that night…"

I felt my heart skip, fall down, get up and skip around at Lauren's words. I could tell in her tone she was about to say something heartfelt and full of honesty.

Just then, the guard walked out of the back room. "Ms. McCorrigan, you're all set. The Doc here will show you how to swipe it at the access points. Don't lose this, I can't immediately replace it." He smiled, handing me the ID card before directing his attention to Lauren. "You're in great hands with the Doc here, she's one heck of a good kid. By the looks of it, you're gonna turn out to be a good kid too, Bo. Mrs. Robbins only hires the best."

Hearing the word kid, I stepped out of Lauren's grasp. I took the ID card and lanyard attached to it. I slipped it around my neck and thanked the guard, "I know Dr. Lewis will agree, I'm a great kid." I smiled, glancing at Lauren, her face falling. "Shall we? I'd like to get as much done today as I can."

I spun on my heel and walked out of the room right as Peter Gabriel started singing that damn song. I rushed down the hall until I couldn't hear a single word. Taking deep breaths as my heart ran out of control. I had to collect myself, I couldn't show Lauren that I still felt a damn thing for her anymore.

* * *

XXX

"MOM! You sucked back then. I cannot believe you were that mean to Ma!" Iris shook her head at me, "I'm surprised she didn't just dump you and never look back. I know I would've of."

I sighed, rubbing my very full stomach. "Thanks." I pulled a blanket across my shoulders, the ice cream giving me a chill. I buried my nose into the soft fabric, sighing like an idiot as it smelled like my wife. "I was bitter. You remember when Jamie broke up with you right before the spring formal? How shitty you were to him for months?"

Iris pointed her finger at me, "Language, and yes." She blew out a breath, leaning her elbows on the desk. "Fine, you're forgiven for being a shit to my ma." Iris winked at me and giggle, "Please continue, I have a feeling you're mean ways lasted more than a day."

"It did, but the worst of it was that day. I was angry and finally I pushed her to break." I closed my eyes, "I'm surprised she continued to talk to me after that first day."

* * *

XXX

"Your access card will get you in after hours. We will have long nights as we move into the middle of the project." Lauren spoke firmly, trying her best to keep any emotion out of her tone. "I do recommend you let security know you're going to be late, that way they can walk you out and to the metro stations."

I nodded absently, I was seriously in a mood. A big fat crappy mood, and I was seconds away from taking it out on the first person who pissed me off.

We walked through one exhibit of the American history museum, a closed exhibit about the history of comics and their impact on modern society, I smiled when I spotted a giant Wonder Woman. I stopped to read the placard.

"This exhibit opens up to the public next week. The response to the marketing has been good. We're thinking about linking the comics to the air and space museum. I'm hoping kids will take an interest in the science behind how superman flies, and how wonder woman can defy gravity." Lauren shrugged. "Science still isn't cool." She cleared her throat, moving to stand next to me. "Do you still read Wonder Woman?"

I sighed, "Nope. Comics are for _kids._ " I was lying, I still read all comics like it was my job. I had a handful of Wonder Woman shirts in my drawers, and even had a Wonder Woman bathrobe. But Lauren didn't need to know that. Plus, I was being a shit. I turned to face her, my mood reaching a tipping point and spilling over. "You remember? I'm just a kid, Dr. Lewis."

Lauren swallowed hard, her jaw twitching. She pointed at the back of the exhibit, "Come with me, I'd like to speak to you for a second."

I shrugged and followed her to the back of the exhibit where we were out of sight and sound of any museum visitors. Lauren took a deep breath before facing me. "Bo, I know we've not spoken in a few years, and this is a surprise for both of us, but…"

I cut her off, "You disappeared, Lauren. That night after the movies, you vanished. The only time I heard from you was on my graduation from high school. Thanks for the card by the way, but I didn't read it. I threw it out." I glared at the woman, Lauren flinched when I mentioned throwing the card out. I really did throw it out when my mom gave it to me.

I shrugged and continued on, I didn't give a crap I was being horrible. I'd had four years of pain to let out. "Kinda like how you threw out my Christmas gift. Left it in the snow with the broken pieces of my heart." I mumbled the last part, she didn't need to know where my feelings still sat. "Whatever, let's just work together for the next three months and then you can disappear. I don't even know where you went to college, where and what you've been doing for the last four years. You're a ghost, Lauren."

Lauren closed her eyes, she took a deep breath before opening her eyes to look right at me. "It's nice to see your fierceness has not dwindled at all." She paused as I rolled my eyes and huffed. "Bo, I did disappear, but that's because I wasn't sure how to deal with what you told me. I…had to process it and digest it." She frowned, "I disappeared because I was overwhelmed, I knew you were overwhelmed that night."

I huffed again, god I was being petty. "That's an understatement. I'm sure Jane helped you move past it."

"I broke up with Jane that night." Lauren spoke it quickly, "The way she treated you was horrendous, and I couldn't be with someone who dared to treat my best friend like a silly kid."

I laughed, "Really? I vaguely remember you telling me that night I was just a kid, when my feelings for you were very real, very grown up." I threw my hand up, "Whatever, can we just go? We're both getting paid to not do this. Besides, it's old news."

I went to walk away, when Lauren grabbed my elbow. "I read your letter, Bo. And opened your gift. I went back to dig it out of the snow after dropping Jane off. I came back to talk to you, explain my reaction, but your parents had no idea where you went to." She searched my eyes, hers glossy with tears. "I was at your graduation. Hiding in the back of the auditorium in the shadows. I made your parents promise not to tell you, only to make sure they gave you my card." She swallowed hard, "That day, I saw how beautiful you were, Bo. How beautiful you are."

It was my turn to swallow hard. I knew what was in that letter I wrote to Lauren, I wrote it and poured my heart out to her. I glanced at her hand on my elbow, how warm and strong it was, and all the feelings swarmed my body. I had to fight it, I wasn't going to bend to her guilty need to right things after four years later. "It's too late, Lauren." I forced the words out, wincing at the tremble in my voice.

Lauren nodded, dropping her hand from me. "I know, but I had to say something. I know why you're mad. I was rude to you, and your feelings." She met my eyes, "I'm sorry, Bo. I know I broke your heart that day, but I also broke mine." She cleared her throat, waving at the entrance to the exhibit. "We should go, I have a meeting in a half hour I need to attend. You're free to explore, or go home early if you'd like."

I stared at her, there was something she wasn't telling me. Lauren walked past me, "You're not telling me everything, are you, Lauren?"

Lauren looked over her shoulder, smiling tightly, "You should've read my card, Bo. But you're right, it doesn't matter anymore." She looked at her watch, "I'll get you back to the lobby and write down directions to my office, and my office number. Meet me there on Wednesday at 8am, we'll start then."

Lauren turned away, waiting for me. She escorted me to the lobby in silence. She issued me a professional goodbye as she slid me the piece of paper with her office info, before walking away in a rush.

I tucked the piece of paper into my pocket and shoved my packet into my purse, trading it for my cellphone. I was shaken to the core, processing Lauren's words and her hesitation. There was something just under the surface that Lauren was struggling with, but the way she shut down at the end, told me that it wouldn't be brought up again.

I pressed the phone to my ear as I walked out into the sunny afternoon, relishing the sun on my skin.

"Yo Bo! Dude, I have a desk! A desk and my own DEA coffee cup! This is the tits!" Tamsin babbled on excitedly. "How's the dinosaur bones and old smelly cars?"

I laughed at my friend's excitement, "It's old and smelly, but good."

"Good? You couldn't sleep last night, you were peeing your pants with excitement for this job. What's wrong? Are you just the new gopher for the marketing team? Snatching up their doughnuts and coffee?" Tamsin growled, "You can come work with me, sorting evidence."

I sighed, "The job is great, it's going to be great. It's just my one co-worker is not what I expected."

"Oh did you get stuck with a gross professor from the turn of the century? One with wild eyebrows and epic nose hair? Or a snooty doctor of dinosaurology?"

I let out a slow breath, "No gross professor, just a doctor." I paused under a tree, flopping down on to a bench, "A Doctor Lauren Lewis. Resident astrophysicist of the Air and Space Museum. She's my direct supervisor/co-worker." I groaned covering my face with my free hand.

"No. No. You're shitting me! Is it THE Lauren Lewis? Tutor of algebra? Breaker of Bo's heart?" Tamsin blew out a breath, "The ghost of Christmas past suddenly reappears. I bet she acted like nothing happened, right?"

"Not exactly, Tams. I'll tell you when you get home, I need your skills to untangle her strange cryptic message." I looked up at the giant tree limbs hanging over my head. "There's something she isn't telling me."


	5. Chapter 5

N: Number 5! Enjoy!

Also, my books are on sale on kindle for a dollar for the next couple of days, so go out and grab one! It's cheaper than coffee!

Read on as i go watch rizzoli and isles...

* * *

"UH. Clearly ma was trying to tell you she was in love with you, but you're mean pants were on too tight." Iris pointed an accusatory finger my way. "Why! You could've fallen in love that day, and I would've been born sooner. I'd be so done with psychic's homework by now, and onto college."

I raised an eyebrow. "Mean pants? You really need to stop hanging out with your aunt." I leaned forward, tugging the blanket closer to me. "I wished it was that easy. But when I wore my mean pants that day, it shut your ma down to talking to me. It took a while for me to push through to her. Well, more so, irritate her until she lost her cool and broke through those walls." I looked up at my daughter. "Let's just say I should've never thrown that card out."

Iris shook her head, covering her face, "Oh mom. Now I understand why no one told me this story! How could you not tell ma was in love with you? I can see it, and it's just a story!"

I shrugged, "I never said that I'd gotten smarter at twenty, smarter about matters of the heart. Sometimes you love someone so deeply, you grow blind to the simple things. I just figured Lauren was trying to let me down again. That's why I went to Tamsin."

"Tamsin is the worse at romance! She's blind as a bat to any one flirting with her!" Iris threw her hands up, "I can't with you, mom. Just tell me more before I get acid reflux and really call ma."

I laughed, grinning as I looked at my phone on the coffee table in front of me. Lauren had just sent a message.

 _-Did you tell her about our first month at the museum? The most infuriating month of my life? –_

I picked up the phone,

 _-Just started. Iris is furious at me for wearing my mean pants that day. I'm dragging this one out, I love reliving how we got together, no matter how many ulcers it gave us both. I wouldn't trade it for the world.-_

 _\- Haha! Call me if you need me to fill in the gaps. Wait until she finds out what your father did. That's my favorite part of the story. I'll be home soon, I love you. –_

I sighed happily, sending a I love you text, before putting the phone down. Iris was glaring at me, "Mom, focus. Tell me more, I feel the acid starting to rise." She dramatically rubbed her stomach for effect.

I rolled my eyes, "You know there's antacids in the top right drawer? Your ma eats them like candy when she has a deadline." I smirked at the dirty look my daughter gave me, "I screwed up and I knew it. But I was clueless how to fix it. It's like when you waited until the last minute to build that science project in sixth grade. You freaked out so hard you almost gave yourself a pint size heart attack." I chuckled, "I still have no idea how the teachers didn't notice an eleven-year-old was presenting a full working mini gravitational pull chamber."

Iris shrugged, "Best A I ever got, and I think the best A ma ever got. She was more excited than I was." She squinted at me, "Stop delaying."

I waved at her. "Relax." I sat back and took a deep breath. "I screwed up so bad, and your ma wouldn't talk to me if it wasn't work related."

* * *

XXX

I kicked the apartment door open, throwing my bag on the floor. "Holy hell, it's hot today." I took a deep breath, closing my eyes as the air conditioning started gracing the sweaty parts of my skin.

"I got beer in here." Tamsin hollered from the living room.

I smiled and walked in to find my roommate and best friend lounging on the couch. She had a beer perched on her lap, her head buried in a large file. She was furrowing her brow as she read and sipped from the beer. "How was your day at the museum? Did you spend it dusting off historical furniture?"

I sighed, sitting down next to Tamsin. "Why do you have the TV on? You're reading." I grabbed a cold beer from the bucket of ice it sat in. I looked at her clothing choices of Wonder Woman boxer shorts and an Arnold Schwarzenegger tank top with him asking you to pump it up!

Tamsin gave me a side eye glare. "TV helps me focus. I have to sort a shit ton of files but need to read them first to figure out where they go. Most of these are from the seventies, and real lame reading." She tossed the file down, "I can tell that frown on your face tells me it was another crappy day with Lewis. She's still not talking to you?" Tamsin threw her long legs up on the edge of the coffee table.

I shook my head, staring at the bottle. "Only if it's important. I can't get her to talk alone." I glanced at my friend. "I screwed up and even though I'm still upset, I can't do anything to try and hash it out." I closed my eyes, "Why did I throw that card out?"

"You were pissed. That's why you threw it out." Tamsin nudged me with her shoulder. "You were in love with Lauren. Like crazy ass head over heels in love, and your heart was ripped to pieces. I probably would've burned the card, not just thrown it out."

I shrugged, sipping at my beer. "Maybe I should let it go. It's just hard. I work with her every day and each time she looks at me, there's something in her eyes. There's something she wants to tell me, but I can't get it out of her. She just treats me like a distant coworker."

Tamsin chugged the rest of her beer, slamming the bottle down on the table. "Okay, enough. You've been whining every night you come home. Whining about Lewis this, Lewis that. Lewis hates me, I love Lewis, I hate Lewis. Blah, blah, blah." She turned to face me. "This is what you have to do, Bo. Corner her like a scared animal and talk to her. Get her so riled up that she fights back."

"Ha, that's not going to work." I slid down further into the couch. "And I don't talk about Lauren all the time."

"Bull shit. You've been talking about her since we were both twelve. Even when you hated her, you couldn't stop talking to her. You even dated her doppelgangers, exasperating that you have a type. A type that looks exactly like LAUREN LEWIS." Tamsin threw up her hands. "Shit or get off the pot, Bo! You've been sitting on it for nine plus years, you're getting wicked hemorrhoids."

I choked on my beer, shocked by her outburst. "Tams…"

"Shut up, Bo. It's time. Time to move on from her before you ruin both of our summers." Tamsin stood up, walking over to the shared desk and pulled out a notebook. She threw it in my lap, lobbing a pen at my head. "Take notes, Bo. I'm going to tell you how to break Lauren."

I pulled the pen out of my hair, frowning as Tamsin half sat on me. "But I don't even know if I want Lauren."

"Ha, bull shit again. Your spastic nature since you ran into the great tutor of yesterday, tells me you want Lauren. You want to stand outside her house with a boombox, playing that dumb Peter Gabriel song. You want her to run into your arms, then you probably want to go find Jane and show her you won. You've wanted to be Lauren's since you told me you had a crush on her." Tamsin pointed at me. "Time to get off the pot."

* * *

XXXX

"Wait, you mean Aunt T was the one who got you and ma together?" Iris sat up, her eyes wide in shock. "She's brash, crude, and a little weird."

"I'd be offended by all that, if I didn't love you so much." Tamsin's gruff voice entered the room before she did. When she poked her head around the corner, she grinned. "I also can't debate the truth." She waved behind her, shoving a piece of pizza in her mouth. "I came over to drop off those books I borrowed from your dad. Are you telling _the story_?"

I nodded sheepishly, "Yes, Iris wanted to know the truth."

Tamsin chuckled and entered the office, giving Iris a high five and a huge hug, the pizza slice dangling out of her mouth. "Just in time for your tenth? Or eleventh wedding anniversary?"

"Seventeen, we count the years we were dating." I scooted over on the couch to make room for Tamsin. "I was just telling Iris about your amazing advice."

Tamsin laughed, "Oh Jesus." Tamsin crammed the rest of the pizza in her mouth, brushing crumbs off her dark grey suit. Her gold badge sticking out on her hip. "You were such a meathead back then. So caught up in Lauren and being mean to her."

"That's what I said, Aunt T!" Iris exclaimed, holding her hands up. "Mom was wearing her mean pants when they met again! I hope you told her to be nice!"

Tamsin winked at me, "Sorta."

I chuckled, poking Tamsin. "It's more like she imparted some of her interesting law enforcement inspired tactics. Good cop, bad cop. I had to play both to get Lauren to open up to me."

Iris leaned on the desk, "Did it work?"

I just smiled as Tamsin giggled.

* * *

XXX

I took a deep breath, shifting the large stack of books I carried. It was going to be another late night at the museum. The third one this week, and I was tempted to ask security to bring me a cot so I could sleep in the workroom. I was tired, and on edge. I'd spent the last three hours working in perfect silence with Lauren. The rest of the team having left at a normal hour to grab dinner. I stayed, hoping I could talk to Lauren alone, as well as get more work done. I was determined to impress Mrs. Robbins in hopes of maybe getting a job with her at the end of the summer, or at least a sweet reference letter.

I yawned, walking around the corner to the workroom, when I heard the radio playing and Lauren singing along quietly with it.

I smiled, I knew the song. It was one of Lauren's favorites. West End Girls by the Pet Shop Boys. I paused, leaning against the doorframe, thinking back on a particular memory of her and I taking a road trip in the summer before I turned sixteen and everything went to shit.

I sucked in a breath, and decided now was the time to follow Tamsin's advice. I walked into the room, Lauren still hunched over her notes, singing. She looked so beautiful in the soft light from the lamp she turned on. So beautiful I wondered how I could ever be so angry at her.

"I still have that atrocious dinosaur mug you bought me."

Lauren's head shot up, her eyes bright beneath the glasses she wore when her eyes were tired. "Excuse me?" She cleared her throat, and reached to turn the radio down.

I set the books down on the table, "Our last summer together. We took a road trip to check out the one space museum you loved, and we stopped at all the weird roadside attractions we could. Remember the 30 foot tall t-rex? We climbed up its tail and looked out on the road through his giant mouth and paper mache teeth?"

Lauren pulled her glasses off, the tiniest smile gracing the corners of her mouth. "I do."

I sat down across from her, smiling. "I still use the giant mug you bought me. I drink my tea in it, and sometimes Tamsin drinks her whiskey out of it."

Lauren's smile grew bigger, "You're still friends with Tamsin?"

I nodded, "She's my second best friend ever." I met Laurens eyes, holding her gaze for a moment, hoping she would catch the hint I was dropping.

"She's a good friend, a little different, but good overall." Lauren leaned back in her chair, glancing at the clock. "A second best friend, I've never heard that before."

This was going good, Tamsin was right. I had to be nice and easy to open Lauren up, so far it was working. This was the most Lauren had spoken to me since that first day. I swallowed hard, and took a chance. "You were my first best friend, Lauren."

Lauren's smile faded as she looked away from the clock, and back down at her notes. "It's getting late, Bo. I should call security to escort you. I've had you working too many late nights. We're nowhere near the halfway point when it gets even worse." She yawned, looking for her phone.

Lauren was evading, I had to keep pushing. "I was stupid, mean, to you that first day. I guess I still have some growing up to do, but you really were my best friend, Lauren. I know I screwed things up back then, and even now. But I'd like it if we could be friends again, start over and stuff." I absently reached for one of the large books I'd brought down. "I'm sorry. I know I never apologized for my shitty behavior, you didn't deserve it. I was just an over emotional kid with a wild heart." I smiled tightly and opened the book. "Let me finish these notes and we both can call it a night."

I could feel Lauren's eyes on me, gently boring holes into the side of my head. I kept my head down, trying so hard not to cry or vomit. She was done with me, I could see it on her face. This was going to be nothing more than a working relationship.

Lauren let out a slow breath and reached for her briefcase. She lifted the flap and removed a thick worn leather notebook. I glanced at it, my heart stopping when I spotted the faded gold pin stuck on the cover. Lauren ran her fingers over it, "You were my best friend too, Bo. I never apologized for disappearing on you after that night. But it didn't mean I ever forgot you." She looked up at me, "I mean who else would know how much I love Princess Leia enough to find me this. A rare prop pin that was used for costume fittings, but never made the cut. A piece actually worn by one of my favorite actresses in the world and knew the strength I drew from her." I listened with rapt attention, the radio still softly playing the hits of yesterday. It provided a soundtrack to this incredible story she was telling. Well, incredible in my eyes. I'd always wondered if she opened my gift.

I swallowed hard as I stared at the pin I spent months searching out. Tracking it down on the internet and costing me at least four years' worth of my crappy high school job paychecks. I had to hit my parents up for the loan, thank god they didn't charge interest. I couldn't speak, my heart racing. There was also the letter I wrote to her. My heart lurched into my throat.

Lauren nodded, "You did. My best friend. The only person I could be myself around. The one person who knew me better than anyone." She laid her palms over the pin, "I didn't open the box until the day of your graduation." Her smile twisted ever so slightly as she looked away. "You were so much more than just a kid, but when you're a kid too, nothing makes sense. I might have been older, but I wasn't wiser. For that, I'm horribly sorry for the way I treated you, Bo." She sighed her eyes watery, shoving the notebook back in her briefcase. "We should call it a night."

I went to open my mouth when she shook her head, "It's fine, Bo. We can't go in the past and fix all the wrongs." Lauren stood up, collecting all of her things up. I had to know if she read the letter I threw in her face, and what her reaction was to all of it.

"Lauren, um. I'm…" I stood up with her, my hands sweating like crazy. I went to reach over to the radio to turn it off, when the song started playing. I froze.

"I read it, Bo." She smiled tightly. "Every word." She tipped her head down, focused on neatly putting her things away.

I went to ask her the question I'd been dying to ask, when a security guard poked his head into the room. "Dr. Lewis? Bo? You guys need an escort? I was doing my rounds and saw the light on."

"That'd be great, TJ. We're ready to go home." Lauren spoke softly, slinging her briefcase over her shoulder. She made eye contact with me, her brown eyes speaking volumes. Volumes of her own heartbreak that I knew I caused.

"Cool. We can take the service elevator, get you right to the parking lot." TJ looked at me, "Bo, you want me to get you a cab?"

I shook my head still looking at Lauren. "Um, I can call my roommate to come get me. We live a few blocks down and she has a car." I followed Lauren out, walking slightly behind her and TJ as I dug out my cell phone to text Tamsin. She messaged back that she was right around the corner getting burgers and would be by in a flash. Her exact words.

I barely paid any attention to the small talk TJ and Lauren were indulging in, until we stepped out into the fresh night air. I looked up into the early evening sky, pulling on my shirt as the heat was still oppressive. TJ stood next to Lauren, still chatting about the Yankees. I kept staring at Lauren, and her briefcase. She had carried me with her for years, I never left her. Just like she never left me. But I had a heavy fear that I'd lost her. The indignation on her face told me she wasn't one to travel back to the past, even if she could. The present was the present, the past was the past, and the future was going to be built without revisiting the past. I was part of the past, a glimmer of the present, but wasn't a glimmer of the future in Lauren's eyes.

I let out a breath, taking a step to grab Lauren and play hard cop. Talk to her until I broke through. I was a step away when a loud car horn scared the shit out of me. Tamsin rolled around the corner in her car, throwing her hand out the window, yelling my name.

TJ laughed and walked away after walking Lauren to her car. I gave my best friend a shitty look when she pointed at Lauren, mouthing if I'd gotten off the pot yet. I stomped over to the passenger window about to yell at her, when Lauren called out my name.

"Bo, wait."

I turned to look at her. She was walking towards me, digging in her briefcase. "You want a burger? I'm sure Tamsin has at least ten in there."

Lauren smiled, shaking her head, waving lightly at Tamsin. "Thank you, but no." She withdrew her hand from her briefcase. "I almost didn't have the courage to do this, especially after this arrived on my desk a few days ago. But, I guess…well here." She held out a crinkled pale blue envelope. "Your father mailed this to me."

I glanced at the envelope trembling in Lauren's hand. "My dad?"

She nodded, "Yes. I'm assuming you told him we were working together again, and I've always know Mr. McCorrigan to be a good man." She paused, swallowing hard. "He told me to give this to you when I felt you could handle it like an adult." She stumbled over the words, "It's exactly what he wrote on the note. I can show you tomorrow if you don't believe me."

I slowly took the envelope, "I don't understand, what is this?"

Lauren dropped her hand quickly, "The graduation card I gave you. Your father fished it out of the trash and saved it." She smiled awkwardly, took a step back and glanced at me. "I'll see you in the morning, Bo. Get some rest, you've been working very hard." She spun around, waving at Tamsin once more and disappeared into her car.

I turned over the front of the card, Lauren's handwriting sending me back to the day I last held this in my palm. I licked my lips, my throat suddenly going dry as I watched the last glint of Lauren's taillights fade away down the street.

"Oh balls."


	6. Chapter 6

**n: enjoy this new chapter!**

* * *

 **xxx**

"WAS IT THE CARD? Like THE card?" Iris had stood up from her seat, throwing her hands up in the air.

Tamsin chuckled, answering for me. "It certainly was." Tamsin glanced at me.

I sighed, "It even had the grease spots from the old fried chicken bones Tamsin threw in the garbage on top of it." I smiled awkwardly at the rush of nerves. It was the same feeling I had when Lauren handed me the envelope.

"Okay! And what did it say?" Iris rushed around the desk, poking around in the bookshelves. "Where is it? Did you frame it? Knowing you, you framed it." She was picking up picture frames filled with images of our family.

I glanced across the room at Lauren and I's vinyl record collection. "It's not framed. I wouldn't frame a card, Iris." I spotted the Bob Seger record facing out, with the cracked dinosaur mug sitting in front of it. "I'd never frame the card for everyone to see."

"What your mom is saying is, she almost threw it out again." Tamsin leaned forward, getting up to walk across the room. I was starting to mildly panic that she knew where my hiding place was. My best friend knew I always attached objects to memories. I watched with anticipation as Tamsin moved past the record I was staring at and walked right to Lauren's filing cabinet. She yanked the bottom drawer open and removed a giant bag of gummy bears. "I had to stop her." Tamsin looked at Iris, "You know your mom was a bit of an emotional spaz when she was younger?"

Iris rolled her eyes, "Mom be a spaz? Come on Aunt T. Mom is a very mild mannered boring mom." Iris smiled at me, "No offense. I love you, but I can barely picture you rocking out real housewives drama."

Tamsin patted Iris on the back, handing her the gummy bears. "That's all your ma's doing. My best friend here was a tornado of drama, trust me."

I smiled, leaning back into the couch. I was silently grateful Tamsin distracted Iris from searching out the card. I didn't want anyone to find it, let alone know I kept it. Lauren didn't even know I still had it, she thought I threw it out again. "Tamsin is right, I was a mess when it came to Lauren Lewis being back in my life and giving me the graduation card. I didn't know what to do, and it caused me to spaz out."

Iris and Tamsin both groaned and moved to sit in the loveseat across from me. I giggled when the two basically sat on top of each other, quietly fighting over the gummy bears. Iris waved her hand, "Continue mother. I'm starting to realize this story is going to be long and full of cliffhangers."

I laughed, sneaking another glance at the record. "But it'll be worth it in the end, Iris."

* * *

 **XXX**

"What do I do? Do I read it? Do I not read it? Do it throw it out?" I was pacing the length of our living room, freaking out. Tamsin sat on the couch, staring at me as she held the pale blue envelope. "Why did she give it to me?"

"What did your dad say about it?" Tamsin turned the card over slowly, like she was looking for evidence.

I huffed. "He only told me to be an adult about it, read it and then go deal with my teenage angst." I frowned, stopping to look at Tamsin. "I don't have any angst, so I have no clue what he's talking about."

Tamsin laughed, setting the card on the table. "Bullshit. You have angst and it's name is Dr. Lewis." She patted the space next to her. "Sit your ass down and let's read this critical document."

I flopped down next to her, stealing her beer and taking a massive swig. "Why is this so weird? Lauren has been avoiding me the last couple of days. I mean, we talk and we work, but she won't look me in the eyes."

"That's cause she's totally waiting for you to talk to her about whatever is in this card. Bo, you got it on Tuesday, it's Saturday and you've done nothing but work yourself up every night. I'm sure Lauren is slowly resigning to the fact that whatever she wrote in there, means shit all to you." Tamsin leaned forward, picking the card up to hold it against the light. She squinted, "I can't see shit." She threw it on my lap, "Open it and find out if the woman has been in love with you for a million years, or if she was politely telling you to piss off."

I frowned as the card sat on my lap. "It can't be this easy."

Tamsin snagged the beer from my hands. "What is wrong with you? It actually is that easy, doofus. You have four years of answers right there in your lap. Open it up and put the past to rest. You either run to work on Monday and get swept up in her arms, or you spend the rest of the summer mourning a broken heart. Either way, you gotta get off the pot, Bo."

I furrowed my brow, thinking. That's when my heart poked me. "Tams? Do you think Lauren likes me?"

Tamsin chuckled, "Duh, a blind man can see she likes you. She does this weird head tilt thing when she firsts sees you. It's like she's trying to hide the grin and red cheeks from the world. She's very cautious around you, very careful, as if she might break you if she was too forceful."

I shrugged, "She's like that with everyone."

"Ha! Bullshit times two. Lauren is well known in the federal circuit right now. Everyone has a keen interest in her super astro nerd skills. From what I've heard, cause I eavesdrop like a whoa, she's tough. She doesn't put up with people's shit and has earned respect of many old fuddy duds. Rumor has it she shut down a stupid senator for making an inappropriate remark about female scientists. Basically, verbal castrated him." Tamsin grinned, "If it's true, she's my kind of people."

I stared at my best friend for a moment before she huffed, "Bo, stop being dumb and blind. The woman likes you, a lot. She's probably harboring the same long lost love for you, that you are for her." Tamsin pointed at the card, "Open the stupid thing and get your answers."

I chewed on my bottom lip, thinking. When it hit me, I lifted the card and set it on the table. "I'm not opening it."

Tamsin groaned, standing up, "I need another beer." She glanced over her shoulder, "Why are you not opening it?"

I smiled, "Because in that card it's twenty-two-year-old Lauren writing down her feelings for the eighteen year old me." I stood up, "I think if I really want to be a grown up about all of this, I need to do this right. I need to put the past behind us and find out if the me now loves Lauren, or if Lauren now, could love the person I am."

Tamsin poked her head around the corner, "That's a very adult way of looking at things. I'm impressed, Bo. So, how you're going to do this?"

I grinned, my heart fluttering against my chest. "I have no idea, but I'm excited to start."

Tamsin shook her head, watching me shove the card into a drawer. "You're ridiculous, Bo." She handed me a beer, "Let's order tacos and start working on a plan. I can't have you blindly going into this, last time you did, I had to hold your hair as you puked up egg rolls in the dumpster."

Two weeks later –

Tamsin's plan of opening up to Lauren was working. I would have to initiate all of the talking and keep it away from the past. Lauren started to relax, and our friendship was slowly building back up. The plan was moving slow, but it was okay. Slow was good. I'd gone to fast when I was a kid and it blew up in my face. Granted all of our conversations had revolved around work, and what was currently going on in our lives, but it was progress.

It was Friday of the second week, and I was preparing to ask Lauren to go out to dinner or hang out over the weekend. This was Tamsin's grand idea. Ask Lauren out and her response would clue me in if her feelings for me were friendly or more. I was leaning towards more. I had found over the last two weeks that my feelings for Lauren never died, they grew and adapted into very adult, real, feelings for her. Lauren was beautiful, and I found myself staring at her hands, her eyes, her hair, and occasionally at how tight her jeans where. I had to finally confess that I was still very much in love with Lauren Lewis, but I couldn't go crazy. I had to let her pick which side I'd fall on. Either way, I was slowly gaining my best friend back and it was an incredible feeling.

I walked into the small room we were using in the archives of the space museum. Lauren was staring out the window, a frustrated look on her face. I had to take a breath, even frustrated she was stunning.

I set a pile of files down on the desk next to her, "I found the files from last years ad campaign. You were right, they're fairly bland and boring. No wonder kids aren't into hanging out at the space museum."

Lauren frowned, turning away from the window. She tried to put on a warm smile but was failing. "Thank you, Bo." She picked up a file and thumbed through it.

I sat on the edge of the desk, "Are you okay, Lauren? We could break for dinner if you want?"

Lauren's fake smile remained, "I'm fine. I just zoned out and started thinking too much about things I can't control." She ran a hand through her long blonde hair, and my heart twitched. I suddenly wanted to know what it felt like to run my hands through her hair.

I placed a hand on her shoulder, "What's bothering you?" I sighed at how warm she felt under my palm.

Lauren smile shifted to a little more genuine as she covered my hand with hers, "Life." She chuckled, rolling her eyes, "Dramatic, I know, but I just suddenly realized I work too much and haven't done much since I started my PHD. I've done nothing besides study and work. My "friends" are colleagues that I only see at work."

I was barely paying attention to what she was saying, I was too focused on Lauren's hand covering mine. It was like we were almost holding hands, but not really. I let out a slow breath, I was starting to sweat. I swallowed hard and slowly pulled my hand free from hers to sit down. "You have me, and Tamsin by default. She likes that you'll eat those gross burgers with her."

Lauren chuckled, "She just likes that I have access to the executive cafeteria in her building and any other federal building I have access too. The girl loves her club sandwiches." Lauren met my eyes, "And you, Bo. I'm glad we're learning to be friends again. I've really missed you." Her face went blank as she shifted nervously in her chair, "Did you happen to read that…card…"

I felt my stomach swirl in my stomach. I smiled, "Listen, Tamsin and I usually go out on Friday nights to the one cop bar by our apartment. It's usually a bunch of federal agents, and local cops, but it's a fun place and they give us a discount on drinks." I looked at the clock, "If we call it a day, we can make their happy hour. They mozzarella sticks are amazing." I reached for my bag, "I'll call Tamsin. She'll introduce you to her buddies and who knows, maybe we'll get you to do something more than work."

Lauren nodded, standing up. "That sounds great. I need to get out, meet people and start living." She started collecting her things. I barely heard her mumble, but I caught it when she said, "And stop living in a past I can't have."

I pretended not to hear her, focusing on talking to Tamsin. My heart racing and my palms sweating like a teenage boy in gym class.

I suddenly had a weird feeling I'd screwed up along the way by not reading the card.

* * *

 **XXX**

"MOOOOOOMMMM! Why didn't you read it?" Iris shook her head, closing her eyes as her frustration was at a high point. She slapped Tamsin on the arm, "Why didn't you make her read it? Ma is about to bolt on her, when it's clear as crystal that ma is just waiting for mom to be all I've loved you forever and forever, let's go get marry and make our incredible daughter."

Tamsin laughed, throwing gummy bears at Iris. "You need to listen to the rest of the story, pal." She looked at me winking. "Your mom knew what she was doing that night. Even if there was a wrench thrown into the works."

I groaned, leaning forward as I remembered what Tamsin was talking about. "Ugh, the wrench with red hair."

Iris shot up in her seat, "Wait! What? Was there someone else?" She wiggled against Tamsin, basically shoving her aunt out of the seat. "Mom. Mom, seriously these breaks in the story are going to give me a god damn heart attack."

I frowned at my daughter and Tamsin, "You two won't be allowed to hang out if my daughter's language continues to degrade into that of a trucker."

Tamsin laughed, poking Iris in the arm. "Watch the mouth, and your mom is deflecting." Tamsin winked at me, "At least tell her about the night out with Lauren that really locked in the fact that you two were it, no matter the drama that followed."

"MOM!"

I laughed, "We went out to the bar that night, and what happened I'll always remember. It was pretty amazing and heartbreaking at the same time. But it made me determined to fight for Lauren."

* * *

 **XXXX**

"This place is…quaint." Lauren grinned as I led her towards the bar of the Purse Snatcher.

"It's one step above a dive bar." I looked around at the décor of the bar. The walls were lined with police department patches from across the country and the world. There were old photographs of cops, car chases, cop cars and anything law enforcement related. There was a huge Irish flag hanging from the ceiling, and as I walked through the crowd, I was greeted by the regulars. I waved to Tamsin in the back with a few of her coworkers.

I turned to Lauren, her eyes wide as she took in the surroundings. I laughed, grabbing her arm, "Don't worry, no one is going to care who you are, just as long as you drink beer."

Lauren smiled, leaning closer to me, "I can do that."

"Bo!" Tamsin hollered and hugged me as we got closer. She kept one arm around me, as she waved at her coworkers. "You guys all know Bo." There was mild cheering at the sound of my name from the group, making me laugh. Tamsin leaned over, grabbing Laurens sleeve, "This is Lauren, my besties friend and coworker. She's an astrophysicist."

There was a mild groan from the group until Tamsin hollered, "Hey! Just because she isn't a cop, doesn't mean she can't drink. Don't be buttholes! She's my friend, so that means you all need to be friends with her." Tamsin reached behind us and grabbed the shots that appeared from nowhere. She shoved them in Lauren's and I hand, before dishing out the rest to the group. "To it being Friday!"

A hearty cheer erupted as we all downed the shot. I cringed at the straight whiskey I drank and ordered a beer. "Lauren, you want a beer?"

Lauren nodded, licking her lips in a way that had me flushed from head to toe. "I could use one." She looked up, smiling at me before yelling at Tamsin. "Jameson, nice choice!"

Tamsin gave her a thumbs up, pulling Lauren over to meet the rest of her crew who had a new found respect for the scientist. I grinned and stood back, watching Lauren laugh and high five a bunch of strangers. I sipped at my beer, holding Laurens and enjoying the sound of her laughing. It was a sound I knew I could get addicted to.

After a few minutes, Lauren rushed over to me, still laughing. "Sorry! Tamsin's friends are hilarious." She took the beer from me, taking a long drink. She sighed and looked at me, her eyes roaming over my face in a way that made me blush. "How about those mozzarella sticks?"

I laughed, "Hungry?" Lauren nodded eagerly. I pointed to a high-top table off to the side. "Let's go over there, it's a little quieter. Tamsin's crew will be bothering us in a bit when the shots start to sink in. Be prepared for some good times later."

"I look forward to it." Lauren followed me to the high-top table, sliding into her seat at the same time I sat.

I waved the waitress over, ordered the mozzarella sticks and two more beers before looking at Lauren. "So, why did you become an astrophysicist? I never asked, never ask, anything about you Lauren."

Lauren grinned, "I wanted to build spaceships." She sipped her beer, "Space is a mystery and I wanted to be the one to solve it. Ideally, I'd love to live on another planet. Maybe mars." She met my eyes, staring at them.

I cleared my throat, tipping my head down to look at my drink. "That's really cool, Lauren. I knew you'd always do something great." I looked up, trying to avoid the way she was looking at me, "Tell me what you've been up to for the last few years."

Lauren grinned, and it was as if I opened the flood gates, she started talking about college. She went to Yale and then moved to MIT to work on her PHD. Lauren spoke with her hands, excited to share pieces of her life. I listened, but quickly noticed that she didn't say anything about significant others or friends. It literally was school and work. I also couldn't stop thinking about wanting to kiss Lauren, a new thing that just popped up in the last minute of watching her talk. Her smile was incredible and god, did I want to kiss the woman.

The mozzarella sticks arrived and it paused Laurens story as she dove right in, she took a bite. "What about you Bo? What have you been up to?"

I shrugged, "Not much. Tamsin and I went to BCU together and got the internships. My BCU days were nothing but studying, partying and dating." I cradled my beer in both of my hands. "But now, I'm looking forward to the rest of the summer, making new friends and repairing old friendships." I looked up, catching Lauren's big brown eyes. "I really missed our friendship, Lauren. I'm so glad we're working together."

Lauren swallowed hard, her face turning serious as she grabbed her beer. "Bo, I need to ask you something."

"Shoot." I smiled softly, my heart thumping at what she was about to say.

"I read your letter. And I know you'll say that it was just the silly ramblings from a sixteen-year-old, but…" She paused, taking a large drink of her beer. "I wanted to know if…those feelings, your feelings…are still…" I seized in fear at what Lauren was about to ask. I knew what my answer would be, but what would her reaction be to my answer? Was she just asking out of politeness since I established the friend zone first?

"Shots!" Tamsin's loud voice startled me. She slammed down three shot glasses, "Drink up ladies! There's a Bob Seger cover band about to start. We need to get ready for some night moves!"

I could've strangled my best friend for interrupting. Lauren laughed nervously, taking the shot. I glared at Tamsin and took my shot. I leaned over to whisper in her ear that I was going to kill her later, and that she should enjoy the last night of her life. Tamsin laughed, slapping me on the back. "The night's not over Bo. Trust me, I have a plan. You both need liquid courage to get off the pot." Tamsin leaned away, slapping both of our arms. "Finish your sticks and join us over there!"

I went to tell Lauren we could go somewhere else, when the loud sounds of Bob Seger filled the bar. Lauren started laughing and shaking her head, she threw her hands up in defeat and slid off the stool. She grabbed my arm, leaning to yell over the music. "Might as well enjoy it!"

I groaned, letting Lauren pull me into the crowd. The only thing I wanted to do was pull Lauren to a quiet corner and talk to her.

The music poured over us, and soon we were both dancing. Drinks in our hands, loving the vibe of the bar. Lauren was laughing, her cheeks flushed from dancing and the alcohol. She wasn't drunk, but she was buzzed and it was great to see her relax.

I stepped away to grab another drink and a water. I was leaning against the bar, developing a new plan to take Lauren to the local diner after the bar. We could talk more over eggs and bacon, and maybe, maybe if I was lucky, I could try and kiss her. Kissing her was something I couldn't stop thinking about over the last hour, and I needed to do it. I had wanted to do it again since I was sixteen and first kissed her.

"Bo!" I turned to see Tamsin's friend Frankie come over. He had a huge grin on his face. "I didn't see you here!"

I accepted his massive hug, grinning as he squeezed me. "I've been up in front by the band. How are you?"

"Great!" He looked around the room, leaning into me. "Tamsin with you?"

I laughed, Frankie had the biggest crush on Tamsin to the point it was crippling. "She's over there with my friend, the other blonde."

Frankie raised his eyebrows, "Who's the other blonde? She's hot."

I slugged him in the shoulder, "Her name is Lauren, and she's mine." I froze as the words slipped out. But then I grinned, the alcohol making me feel strong. "She's mine."

Frankie threw his arm around me, "By the looks of it, your hers too." He pointed with his beer glass, "The way she's glaring at me, says she's not happy you and I are good buddies who have no interest in each other."

I looked in the direction he was pointing. Sure enough, Lauren was looking at us, her smile was forced but in her eyes, I saw the jealousy burning deep. It made my stomach flip. I licked my lips, "She's just a friend."

"Yeah, friends look like at each other like that, or coming storming over her to punch me in the face for being this close to you." Frankie kissed my cheek, "I ordered you a shot, you're going need it in thirty seconds." He winked at me and disappeared into the crowd to find Tamsin.

I turned to the bar, picking up the shot Frankie ordered me and slamming it down. My heart was racing at my semi drunken revelation. I wanted Lauren, but I had no clue how to make her mine.

I felt a hand on the small of my back, tensing up as I looked at who dared to touch me. Lauren was next to me, ordering another drink from the bartender. She glanced at me, smiling, "Who was that?"

I could hear the jealousy dripping from her tone, making me shiver in the hot bar. "Frankie."

"Frankie? Is he your boyfriend?" Lauren was tipsy, and her inhibitions were down.

I laughed, shaking my head. "Hell no." I lifted my beer to my lips, the words slipping out, "I never thought you to be a jealous person, Lauren." My tone wasn't shitty, or mean, it was honest. Lauren was very even keeled with her emotions. I was the one who was a spaz over the years about my feelings for her.

I went to set my beer down when Lauren grabbed my elbow and pulled me away from the bar. She gently dragged me through the crowd and out the side door that was open to circulate air on this warm summer night. The second we were out in the alley, I opened my mouth to say something.

I never got any words out as Laurens lips met mine in an intense kiss, her hands cradling the sides of my face. I was caught off guard, but quickly snapped out of it and grabbed her wrists to steady myself to kiss her back. We kissed like it was the end of the world, and I was in heaven. Lauren moaned against my mouth, before parting from my lips. She was breathing heavily, licking her lips. Her brown eyes were focused with intensity that betrayed the fact that she was probably a little more than buzzed. "Bo."

I ran my thumb against the skin on her wrist, my own breathing labored. "You kissed me." It was an awkward statement that should have been a question.

Lauren smiled, "I did." She suddenly dropped her hands from my face and ran them through her hair, "Oh my god, I kissed you." She started pacing. "I'm so sorry." She closed her eyes, groaning. "Stupid jealousy mixed with alcohol. I should've known better." She threw her hands up in the air, "I just couldn't help it, Bo. I've been driving myself insane since I gave you the card. I can tell you never read it, and it was stupid of me to assume. Assume that I could try and be friends with you, when I can't. It's too hard. Then I saw you with that guy, and I just couldn't resist. I'll understand if you don't feel the same, time changes things, feelings." She was rambling, and it was oddly turning me on. "What am I doing? My heart has never stopped beating for you, Bo." She mumbled, shaking her head.

I went to reach for her, "Lauren…." I was about to spill my heart all over the ground and give it back to Lauren. I was in love with her, never stopped being in love with her and now, it seemed our time was finally here. I went to reach for her when I was delicately shoved to the side.

"Lauren!" A woman's voice startled both of us. Lauren looked up as a tall redhead strode over, wrapped Lauren in her arms, and kissed her like we had just kissed. The redhead grinned, running her hands down Lauren's face. "I'm home, baby. I wanted to surprise you, I missed my girlfriend too much to call."

I did exactly what I did when I was sixteen and had my heart broken, I turned and ran. I ran back into the bar, tears threatening to explode. I didn't even hear Lauren yell my name, or that she was trying to run after me.

Girlfriend. Lauren had a girlfriend.

I didn't even stop when Tamsin yelled my name when she saw me. I kept running until I stumbled out onto the sidewalk and took deep breaths of the warm summer air.

Lauren had a girlfriend.


	7. Chapter 7

**N: This one is really short and was hard to right. I'm still recovering from one hell of a bout of bronchitis and my brain isn't working like it normally does. I have an idea for whats to come, i just need to work on it. I might also be interjecting a very special character from another TV show, one you all probably love as much as i do. I've hinted at where they might come from near the end of this chapter. Maybe you can guess who it is? Anyways, read on. I apologize if this is terrible, but i've been driving the struggle bus for awhile now, and no signs of it stopping soon...**

* * *

I looked over at Iris, surprised at her silence. I had paused the story waiting for her outburst, or her comment on my stupid actions. She just stared back at me, blinking her eyes blankly like a cartoon character. She was still sitting on Tamsin, both of them squeezed into the chair awkwardly.

"Iris?" I leaned into the side of the couch, ready to defend my actions in the story to this point.

My daughter held her hand up, turned and gave Tamsin the dirtiest look I'd ever seen my gentle child give. "You did something really stupid, didn't you Aunt T? This mysterious redhead in the alley. That was you wasn't it? It wasn't my mom or ma."

Tamsin's cheeks grew a bright red as she threw her hands up, "You got me kid, guilty as charged. I was the one with the shit plan." She rolled her eyes, "Bo, can you please continue on with the story and get the kid of my case?"

I grinned at how afraid Tamsin was of Iris. "I'd like to see you squirm a little longer, but I'm sure Iris would scream if I didn't continue telling the story."

"I would, and probably will. I cannot believe any of you become functioning adults with a child." Iris shook her head, "Some people's children…."

Tamsin and I both chuckled at Iris's over dramatic ways. I took a breath, "After running out of the bar, I made it back to the street and stopped. I'm not sure why I did."

"You tripped over your own damn feet, almost fell on your face in the gutter. Jack the bouncer luckily caught you and held you back from making a full escape." Tamsin shoved her way out of the seat she shared with Iris. "I need snacks and drinks. Plus, I'd personally rather not relive my own stupidity in this story."

Iris waved Tamsin off and glared at me. "Go on mom, please."

* * *

XXXX

"Whoa Bo! You almost made out with the gutter. You okay? You seem flushed?" Jack the massive bouncer held me out at arms length, looking me in the eyes.

I swallowed hard, my heart racing. "Yeah, I'm good. I just had to get out of the bar. It's so damn hot." I forced a smile, looking down at my shoes. The stupid slip on sneakers I wore were not meant for full blown running. I was sweating from the run and the warm summer night air.

"There a guy I need to punch? You got that look in your eyes." Jack looked over my shoulder, "Yo Tams, is there a guy I need to punch in there?"

I closed my eyes as I heard Tamsin's voice. "Uh no, Jack. If anything, I might have to ask you to punch me in the face." She waved off the massive man as I started to walk further down the street. I just wanted to go home, sit in front of the air conditioner with a bucket of ice cream as I cried my face off.

I felt Tamsin's hand drop to my shoulder, "Bo."

I shook my head, taking a step away. "I don't want to talk about it. She's got a girlfriend. It's cut and dry." I looked up, looking for a cab to come and rescue me. "I'll see you at home."

I heard Tamsin huff and grab my arm, "Bo. She doesn't have a girlfriend. You were supposed to have a girlfriend, but my stupid friend is a stupid lush. She got the plan all ass backwards." Tamsin was talking a mile a minute, one of her tells that she had screwed up big time and knew it. "The redhead, Liv, works with me at the DEA and volunteered to help me help you."

I stepped out of Tamsin's grasp, "What did you do?"

Tamsin threw her hands up, "I was tired of you sitting on the pot. I hatched a plan that if I got you and Lauren to come out, I'd send in Liv as your pretend girlfriend and make Lauren stupid jealous. That way maybe Lauren, or you, would be forced to finally shit." She ran her hands through her hair, sighing heavily. "But Liv had ten shots too many and clearly doesn't know the difference between blondes and brunettes."

I crossed my arms across my chest. "Lauren kissed me."

Tamsin's head shot up, her green eyes boring into mine. "What?"

I nodded, closing my eyes, "She kissed me, right before your dumb friend ruined everything. She panicked and started rambling about the way she felt about me, then Liv broke the moment." I cringed, "I ran. I ran away from Lauren like I did when I was sixteen." I glanced past my best friend, looking at the bar, Bob Seger songs pouring out onto the street. "This is a mess. It's always a mess when it comes to Lauren." I dropped my head down to stare at the tops of my shoes. "She probably won't ever speak to me again after this."

"I don't usually make it a habit to ignore someone I kiss." Lauren's soft voice startled me. I looked up to see her standing next to Tamsin, giving her a hard look. "Tamsin, your friend Liv is looking for you. I deposited her in the bathroom before I came out here."

Tamsin mumbled a few words, her cheeks a bright fire engine red, "I should go…check on her."

Lauren smiled tightly, "Yes, you should."

Tamsin made a face before running back into the bar, leaving me alone with Lauren and another awkward heavy silence.

"Lauren…"

Lauren shook her head, stepping closer to me. "Bo, please I need to say something first. I have no idea who that redhead was, I've never met her in my life. I don't have a girlfriend, haven't had a girlfriend in maybe two years. There's been no one, and I would never kiss you if I was in a relationship, no matter how strongly I feel about you." She shoved her hands into the pockets of her jeans. "But, I understand if things have changed over the years. Feelings shift as we grow older. I want to apologize for kissing you without asking first. I guess I was trying to live spontaneously for once in my life and take a chance. Take a chance that maybe, maybe we could try and be more than friends. But I guess we should just try to be friends first, or just only friends." Lauren frowned as she bounced on her heels. She looked out on the street, "I should probably get a cab home, it's getting late."

I couldn't help but smile as I watched this brilliant woman, one of the best astrophysicists in the world, shuffle nervously in front of me. It was as if our roles had reversed after all these years. This time around, I had the power and the maturity to change the path we were on. "You're right, I never read the card. I actually don't want to read it. It's still sitting on my desk at home, unopened."

Lauren slowly met my eyes and I saw the fear building. "Oh, okay." Lauren nodded to herself as if I'd answered an unknown question in her head. "I understand Bo." She took a deep breath, "Well, I'll see you on Monday. We can work on the poster layouts after my board meeting." Lauren pulled her hands free from her pockets and took a step back. "Have a good weekend and tell Tamsin she can pay for my drinks. It's the least she can do for the redheaded debacle."

The defeated tone in Laurens voice struck deep. I reached out, grabbing her hand before she got too far away. "Lauren, I don't want to read the card, because I want to start new with you. I want to start whatever with you and not have the past hanging over our heads. The card you wrote is a part of the past. I want to be with you now. The Lauren standing in front of me. I want to know who you are now, what you like, what you hate, what makes you laugh. I felt reading the card would be cheating." I slid my fingers into hers, squeezing tightly. "I want to fall in love with you and have it feel right, and not tangled up in youthful confusion." I gently tugged on Lauren's hand, trying to bring her closer. "What do you say?"

Lauren squeezed my hand, a smile forming on her lips. "When did you becomes so amazing, Bo?"

I grinned, moving even closer to Lauren, "I had this amazing tutor in high school that taught me more than just algebra." I placed my other hand on the side of her face, "Can I kiss you? I'd really like to kiss you and not have it be interrupted."

Lauren didn't answer, she just leaned forward and brushed her lips over mine. I took the invitation and kissed her. It was equally as incredible as the first time I kissed her in my driveway on that snowy night when I was sixteen, and just a few minutes ago in the alley. We kissed for a few seconds until a few bar patrons started hooting and hollering our way. I broke the kiss, laughing as I buried my face into Lauren's shoulder. She wrapped her arms around me, holding me close enough I could feel her heart race.

Lauren laughed when another cheer came our way and leaned back in my arms. "Can I buy you a drink?"

I grinned, pushing some hair from her face. "Can I take you on a date sometime next week?"

Lauren scrunched her face up, "I'll have to check my schedule and see if I can fit you in. I'm working with this young intern that likes to work me to the bone, sometimes it's hard to get her to go home."

I poked Lauren in the ribs, "You know the only reason I work late is because it gives me more time with you?" I grabbed Lauren's hand, moving us back towards the bar as the Bob Seger cover band started to really rock out.

Lauren leaned over, kissing the side of my head, whispering, "I figured that out the first week. You kept staring at me while I worked. That's when I decided to take a chance with the card."

I grinned, leaning into her side. "I need to thank my dad."

Lauren grinned, letting me enter the bar first in time to catch Tamsin dancing on the bar top, singing Night Moves at the top of her lungs.

* * *

XXX

Iris started clapping, "Well done, mom. Well done!" She leaned back into her seat, looking at Tamsin who was sitting at Lauren's desk, eating chips and dip. "At least you didn't screw things up too badly, Aunt T. But why did you think sending in Liv was a good idea? That woman is the dumbest federal agent I've ever met. How many times did you tell me she mistook sugar for cocaine?"

Tamsin laughed, shoving chips in her mouth. "She's pretty dumb, but she's one hell of an interviewer. She can crack the toughest drug cartel egg in an hour." Tamsin looked over at me, "But in a way my dumbass ways got the lovebirds to finally spread their wings. So, I'd say it was a win for me."

I chuckled, shaking my head. "It took Lauren a while to start liking you again."

Tamsin shrugged, "That's because Liv almost threw up on her face, that wasn't my doing. I can't take blame for her tequila addiction."

"Ew. EW. So gross." Iris shivered, "Aunt T, we need to talk about finding you better friends." She curled her legs up under her body. "What happened next? Is this when you guys paraded off into the sunset, married and made me? I mean your speech to ma had me shedding a tear, it was so cute."

"The riding off into the sunset was a ways off. That night at the bar helped break down the walls, but there was a long road ahead. Especially as we got further into the summer. Lauren became really busy and was moved off my project to start a new defense department project." I sighed, spinning my wedding ring.

Tamsin groaned, "Ugh, that was a bad few months. A scary few months." She paused, looking right at me. "Are you sure you want to tell this part? Shit, it was hard for me to deal with."

I smiled tightly, closing my eyes. "If I'm going to tell her the entire story, it's part of it."

"What is it mom?" Iris scooted to the edge of her seat. "Ma told me about that project. Wasn't it where she worked on the new satellite sub station orbiting around the moon right now?"

I nodded, "It was that one, but…" I paused, the memories of those few weeks flooding back. "Something happened when she was on her way home from that project. We barely had one real date, and I thought I'd never see her again."

Iris stood up from her chair, moving to sit next to me and throw an arm around my shoulders. "Does this have something to with the scar on her arm and her general dislike of Boston?"

I nodded again, leaning into my daughter. "Yeah."

Iris sighed lightly, "No wonder you guys never tell this story, it's like a bad drama where it takes all season for anything good to happen, then boom! Another horrible situation to keep you apart."

Tamsin cocked an eyebrow, "Now that you say it kid, your moms love story is like a bad tv show. A lot of ups and downs, a ton of crappy commercials, and leaves the audience wondering if they'll ever have their chance."

I chuckled, "That's one way to put it."

Iris squeezed me closer, "I want to hear all of it. I see how much you love each other, and I've always wondered how it was possible two people could be so deeply in love and make it look so easy. I know ma doesn't like to talk about the scar on her arm. She just always told me that it's a reminder of how much she loves you, but she says it with a sad look in her eyes." Iris kissed the top of my head, "But can you at least tell me about the first date before we move into the heavy sadness?"

Tamsin laughed, breaking the awkward tension that fell into the room. "Their first date was pretty epic, an epic mess."

"Shut it. It wasn't that bad." I frowned at my best friend. "It ended up being a great date."

"Yeah, being locked in the Lincoln Memorial all night is what I call a great date." Tamsin started laughing harder as she ate more chips and dip.

Iris looked at me with wide eyes, "Oh no, mom."

I laughed, "Oh yes."


	8. Chapter 8

**N: here's another chapter. It's a little eh, i'm still recovering from my trip and catching a cold. But the trip has re-inspired me to get back to writing so that's what I'm doing. I've been working on devils 2 alot and dabbling in rizzles fiction to expand my horizons. I hope you like this, and some drama will be coming in the next chapter. Updates on this will be slow to come as I'm refocusing on devils 2 and Blitz becoming a book. Stick with me and things will work out! and to the guest reviewer, yes writing is hard. I'm sorry you get upset that i never seem to finish stories, but ff isn't my sole focus anymore. My real life is pretty hectic and fun right now, so i'm taking advantage of it. If anything, i suggest you take a crack at writing and see what you can come up with. You might be better than me!**

 **Thank you all and read on!**

* * *

I stared at the coffee cup in my hand, debating whether or not to smother Tamsin in the other room. The girl's snoring had woken me up, and now it was literally shaking the apartment. It was like she became a four-hundred-pound man with a broken nose when she was drunk and trying to sleep it off.

I was tired, but on a high after last night and making headway with Lauren. I'd wanted nothing more than to spend the entire night with her, kissing, holding hands or whatever, but she politely put me in a cab with my drunk best friend and sent me home. I picked up my cell phone, grinning like a fool when I saw I already had a message from Lauren. A message that was straight to the point.

 _-I'd like to take you out on a date. Tonight? No bars or Bob Seger cover bands.-_

I giggled at her enthusiasm. Confident Lauren was a huge turn on. I hit her contact picture, pressing the phone to my ear as it rang.

She answered on the second ring. "Dr. Lewis."

I grinned, "Dr. Lewis, I'd love to go out with you tonight." I leaned back against my headboard. "But where are you going to take me? This town is nothing but bars and cover bands."

Lauren laughed, "Have you ever been inside Lincoln?"

I frowned, "Um, that's a bit of a personal question, but no, I don't think I've ever been inside of a Lincoln." I glanced at the ceiling, "Well, I mean my cousin Jaime had a lincoln, but it always smelled like stale beer and jock straps."

"Ew? And I mean the Lincoln monument." I could almost see Lauren shaking her head at my silliness. "A friend of mine told me the view at night from inside his head is incredible when the cherry blossoms are in bloom."

"Why is this conversation getting weirder?" I grinned at Lauren stammering to explain. "I'm kidding, I'll go. But can we go to a restaurant first so it's a little less weird? I'd hate to tell people about our first date and have to reference being inside lincolns head."

Lauren chuckled, "I can only imagine the political discussions that could bring on. I do have a restaurant picked out, I just got excited about taking you somewhere different." She took a breath, "You deserve something out of the normal, Bo. You're too special to me for anything less." Lauren spoke so softly, I almost didn't hear her. But I did.

I blushed furiously, covering the stupid grin on my face with my hand. "Lauren."

She cleared her throat, "I'll meet you outside your apartment at 6. We can walk to the restaurant and to the memorial." Awkward Lauren was adorable.

"Do you need my address?" I shifted on the bed, setting the coffee cup down. "It's a little hard to figure out, where an apartment building within another apartment building." I stared at my closet, a slow panic of what the hell to wear rising fast.

"Tamsin wrote it down and drew me a map when I went back to pay the tab. I think she's a little more enthusiastic than I am about this date." Lauren huffed, "She also threatened to have Olivia bother me endlessly until I took you out properly."

I groaned, "Remind me to murder her when she wakes up." I stood up, walking to my closet hearing a large moan come from Tamsin's room. "Speak of the devil, she's rising. I should go and get her a bucket before she pukes in the bed again. I'll see you at six, Lauren."

"I'll be there, Bo." Lauren hung up, leaving me to deal with my moaning dying best friend in the next room over. Tamsin was hollering for me to help her before she puked in the bed again.

I shook my head and walked to her room, still smiling like an idiot. Nothing could chase away my high. I was going on a date with Lauren tonight, and it was going to be incredible.

* * *

XXXX

"Aunt Tams. What was wrong with you when you were young? Were you raised by a fraternity?" Iris gave Tamsin a dirty look, "I've met your parents. They're normal. What happened?"

Tamsin threw a gummy bear at my daughter. "College happened. Beer happened. Whiskey happened." She pointed a finger at Iris, "Just you wait, kid. The first kegger you go to, it's all downhill from there." Tamsin looked at me, "Why do you have to tell all those parts to the kid? I'm her hero, stop tarnishing my cape."

I laughed, throwing my hands up. "True stories need to be told truthfully." Tamsin stuck her tongue out at me. I looked at Iris, "And you will never go to a kegger in college, ever. If your ma finds out, she'll lose her mind and lecture on the effects of alcohol on your system until you are bored to tears."

Iris gave me a look, "Mom. You don't need to worry. Keggers are stupid and people just barf and pass out in the grass, I've been to one. It's really gross and I don't ever intend to do it again." She sat on the edge of Lauren's desk. "Ma already lectured me on alcohol when I was twelve. She took the fun out of it. Whenever I look at a drink I just see the pain my liver goes through to process it."

I squinted at my daughter, "We'll have a discussion about whose kegger you went to, and that'll you're never hanging out with them again."

Iris turned pale and looked to Tamsin for help. Tamsin threw her hands up, "Don't look at me kid. You just ran me over the coals for being a dumb kid, you're on your own."

Iris, frowned and glanced at me. "Tommy Jones. He's stupid and I don't talk to him anymore. Can you please get back to the story about your first date."

"Fine, but only because I know how much you despise Tommy Jones. His dad is a tool, always hitting on me when I'm out running." I shifted in my seat, catching Tamsin writing his name down. "Tams, you don't need to beat him up. Lauren has a plan for my next run. She intends on verbally castrating him and serving up his balls to his wife." I laughed at the wide eyed looks from both Iris and Tamsin. "Your ma is tougher than she looks." I felt my smile fade, remembering why she became so tough and how I almost lost her. "Anyways, back to the story."

Iris clapped, "Yes! Back to the story."

* * *

XXXX

"How did you know I liked sushi fusion? I don't think we ever talked about food?" I patted my very full belly, walking next to Lauren as we strolled out of the restaurant. The evening was still warm, a small cool breeze was a small reprieve from the oppressive summer we were living in.

Lauren shrugged, "I took a chance." She glanced at me, "You make me want to take a lot of chances, Bo." She grinned sheepishly as she nudged me with her shoulder. "Did you like it?"

I nudged her back, "I loved it. I've not eaten that much since I was home for the holidays. College life and internships has me on a string budget." I reached down, grabbing Lauren's hand in mine, smiling as she didn't hesitate in linking our fingers together. "You know, you've always inspired me to take chances, Lauren. Ever since our first meeting to our last. I always took a chance when it came along. Some were good, many were bad, but I learned from them."

Lauren furrowed her brow. "I'm not sure how I inspired that, Bo. I'm very boring, always have been."

I sucked in a slow breath, nervous about what I was about to say. I shook my head, welcoming the cool breeze to ease the flush in my cheeks. "I loved you. My love for you has always pushed me. I wanted to do anything I could to find the feeling you gave me. I wasn't sure I'd see you again, let alone next to you holding your hand." I dipped my head down, "I was chasing lighting, hoping to capture it once more. The Lauren Lewis lighting."

Lauren suddenly stopped, tugging my hand so I would turn and face her. She studied my face, her brown eyes glassy and searching mine. "Bo…"

I shrugged, "It's stupid, I know. A kid's idea on love, but it's all I knew." I smiled softly, "It's totally cheesy and silly, but you always make me want to tell the truth."

Lauren stepped closer, cupping my face in her hands. She smiled, "It's not stupid. It's the most beautiful thing anyone has ever said to me. She leaned forward, kissing me.

I melted instantly into her kiss, feeling those little lightning bolts on my lips. I pushed against her mouth, wanting more of the lightning that was Lauren. We kissed until someone hollered at us. Lauren parted first, laughing as she wrapped me in her arms. "We always have hecklers."

I laughed, burying my face into the side of her neck. Her skin smelled so good, I couldn't resist kissing it. "They're jealous."

"Maybe." Lauren sighed as I kissed her skin. "We should get to the monument before the sun sets. My friend said that's the best time to sit inside his head."

I burst out laughing as Lauren untangeled her arms from around me. "It still sounds odd. Can't we go back to the sushi place and eat more?"

Lauren rolled her eyes, taking my hand. "I'll get you ice cream after, Bo. Your almost as bad as Tamsin with the food."

I giggled, patting my belly once more. "I'm a growing girl!"

* * *

XXX

"Aunt Tamsin made you weird, mom." Iris was hanging off the edge of the couch, her legs swinging wildly.

I laughed, standing up to grab a handful of gummy bears before Tamsin ate them all. "She did. But she's been my best friend for over twenty years. Something was bound to rub off."

Tamsin grinned, "If you're lucky, kid, I'll tell you about how I conned your mom into a hot dog eating contest with me." She pointed at the weiner trophy I had shoved behind a stack of books. "Your mom is the central east hot dog champion of 2000. She has access to a lifetime supply of weiners…. Not that she's into that type of thing."

Iris and I both groaned at the dumb joke while Tamsin burst into laughter. I slapped my best friend on the shoulder and stole the bag of gummy bears. I flopped down next to my daughter, digging in the bag for the red gummy bears.

Iris giggled and held her hand out for a few gummies. "You're weird, but really cute, mom. That line about ma being the lightning, real smooth." She pulled out a few green gummies, "But how did you get trapped inside Lincoln? Which by the way, I'm telling everyone my parents were inside Lincoln."

I sighed, "Don't be weird, Iris. It's bad enough the queen of weird is your Aunt." I winked at Tamsin as she shouted a hey! my way. "We never made it inside inside of Lincoln. We got locked in the base of the statue. Lauren's friend forgot to unlock the hatch up to his head, and also forgot to unlock the door we went in through. We sat on mop buckets in silence for a few hours. I was so angry."

"Yeah, cause you hate small spaces." Tamsin leaned forward on the desk. "And I suck because I fell asleep with my phone on silent. Thirty five missed calls and a million I hate you, Tamsin, texts."

"I did hate you, more after Lauren and I had our argument."

Iris closed her eyes, "Not again, mom."

* * *

XXXX

"Bo, please stop pacing. I'm trying to get ahold of my friend." Lauren sat hunched over a mop bucket, mashing buttons on her phone.

"No one is coming for us! I've called Tamsin a hundred times. She's probably passed out on the couch, phone on silent watching friends." I huffed, pacing more. I was mildly freaking out. The small room we were in under Lincoln's ass, was incredibly small. I hated small spaces. "We need to call the police."

"They won't come. They'll think it's a prank and call my friend to come check on us." Lauren's tone was clipped as she tried to figure out what to do. "Please, sit down and relax."

"I'm trapped inside of a massive granite statue, breathing recycled air, and the walls are closing in!" I threw my hands up. "Why did you think this was a good idea?" I glared at Lauren.

She glared back, "It's marble. It was a good idea until my friend dropped the ball." She sighed, setting her phone down. "Bo, you should sit down. Your claustrophobia will not get better by pacing."

I shook my head furiously, "That's what you think. We should've just gone to a bar. How am I going to tell our kids this story? Our first date ended up with us perishing in Lincolns asshole. That'll be a hilarious wedding toast for Tamsin to issue." I mumbled as I did one more lap around the room.

Lauren looked up at me, her eyes wide. "Our kids? Wedding? Bo."

I waved her off, my panic on the verge of becoming out of control. My filter was gone at this point. "Yeah. I hope the wedding comes before kids, but you get the idea." I sighed, "This isn't the romantic story I imagined for us."

"Then what did you imagine?" Lauren's voice was small, questioning. I barely registered her reaction to my spastic ramblings and continued on.

"Not this. I thought I would swoop in and sweep you off your feet, then ask you to be my girlfriend. We'd date for a year, but I wouldn't be able to wait and would end up proposing to you one morning as you drank coffee and ate my piss poor attempt at eggs benedict. Then we marry and get a big house with a yard, dogs, and have a kid or two. I'd let you name them, and we'd grow old together. Watching old science fiction movies and making our grandkids give us their comic books to read." I fluttered my arms around, "Now I'm trapped in a marble tomb with the love of my life and we're not even official yet. One date and now we're doomed to die here." I was rambling like an auctioneer.

Lauren stood up slowly, grabbing my arm to stop me. "Bo." I looked at her, a tear rolling down her cheek.

"Oh shit, I shit the bed, didn't I? I'm jumping the gun and rushing to the finish line." I covered my face with a hand. "I ramble when I'm scared shitless, and now you're probably freaked out by me and my intricate plan of a relationship I ruined before it started."

Lauren grabbed my wrist, pulling my hand from my face. She had a small smile on her face. "Not hardly. You're freaking me out with your pacing, but the rest of it… it's unique." She sucked in a slow breath, pressing fingers over my lips. Stopping me from rambling again. "I want you to be my girlfriend, Bo. I was going to ask you after this date, probably in the morning over a cup of coffee and my piss poor attempt at French toast." She cocked an eyebrow my way, "I had high hopes this date and Lincoln's head would work out very well for me." Lauren stepped closer, "But then we talked, and I realized around your seventh plate of California roll, that I wanted everything with you. In order for me to have that, I'd have to ask you to be my girlfriend." She paused.

I frowned, even as my heart was pounding like a drumline. "And the but is?"

Lauren smiled weakly, "There's always a but, isn't there?"

I looked up at the marble ceiling, "Especially when we're inside of one." I found Lauren's hand with mine, "Please, what is it? You were going to ask me something?" I was becoming giddy, bouncy at what Lauren was going to ask. My eleven year old fantasy about to become a reality. "I'm probably going to say yes, even though I'm a little appalled you thought I'd be easy and put out on the first date."

Lauren chuckled nervously, "I want you to be my girlfriend, but I'm leaving for Boston in two weeks. I was requested to go work on a satellite program at the NSA and NASA office there. It's a group effort between Hardvard, MIT and me. They want my expertise to assist with developing flight patterns and designs. I was going to tell you this week, depending on how our date went." Lauren bit her bottom lip, "You don't have to say yes."

I scrunched my face up, "How long will you be gone?"

Lauren's face fell even more, "Four months. I won't be back until right before the holidays. Your internship will be long over, and you'll be back home." She sighed, moving to step away from me. "I can't ask you to wait for me."

I grinned, rolling my eyes. I had my answer for her the second she asked but wanted to mess with her. "My internship will be over, but it's a good thing Mrs. Robbins already offered me a permanent job here for the rest of the year. After my internship, I'll be moving into a full time position with the Smithsonian marketing department." I tugged Lauren closer, "So, it looks like you're stuck with me and won't be able to check out all the hot Harvard girls trying to get your attention." I kissed Lauren on the cheek, "You'll have to tell them your girlfriend is waiting for you to come home." I moved my kiss to the corner of her mouth.

Lauren grinned, "Is that a yes?" She dropped her hands on my hip, squeezing.

I nodded, "Yes." I pressed my forehead against hers, "I've also heard making out is a great way to pass time and keep my mind off my claustrophobia."

"Then perhaps we should do that." Lauren smirked, leaning in to kiss me hard. She kissed me so hard, I forgot where I was.

I parted from her lips for a second, "I'm still not putting out on the first date." I grinned at Lauren's playful frown, moving back to kiss the woman of my dreams.

* * *

XXXX

"Awwwww! That's so cute I might barf up rainbows." Iris threw her arms around me, hugging me tightly.

I laughed, "We were pretty cute, I'll admit that." I patted Iris.

She leaned out of my arms, "But you only had two weeks before ma left for Boston." She looked over at Tamsin, "This is where things get sad, right? I know ma had an accident in Boston and it was bad." She turned to me, my smile falling as I nodded.

"It was." I looked down at my wedding ring, closing my eyes as the hard memories forced their way in. "I barely remember the two weeks we had because of that accident."

I heard Tamsin let out a huge sigh, "If we're going to tell this part of the story, I'm going for the whiskey." She stripped off her blazer and badge. "I'm off duty and could use a drink." She winked at Iris, "I promise I won't drink too much, if I do, I'll make sure to puke in your bed." Tamsin sauntered away, stretching her arms over her head.

Iris faced me, "Mom, Tamsin never drinks. Do I really want to hear this part?"

I opened my eyes, "It's part of our story, it has to be told. It was when I realized I'd push down the gates of hell to be with your ma, no matter what. And that your ma would do anything to survive the impossible to find her way back to me." I smiled weakly, looking at my daughter.

Iris let out a slow breath, "Maybe I need a whiskey."


End file.
